Catch Your Breath Read online

  She created a list that made her slightly dizzy, but would be doable. She’d be running across the city to at least two events a night over the course of the next few weekends. Then there were the midweek events to round things out. Who needed a social life when your job kept you social?

  She sighed and tried to figure out where she was going to fit in a date with Jimmy. Normally, she’d drop an event to be able to go on a date, but this was her chance to get the scoop on not one, but two real stories. If she could break out with these, everyone would stop looking at her like she was playing at being a journalist. They’d respect her job.

  And then what?

  The same poking little question jabbed at her. She wished she had a plan, a road map for her life. She worked at a job she enjoyed, but she wanted more. The whole package: a family, great job, house, and husband to come home to. The problem was, she kept waiting for things to happen in her life. The closest thing to being proactive she’d been was asking Jimmy out.

  Most of the time, she simply followed the current of her life. She didn’t do much to try to change course. Did she want to now?

  She returned to the articles she completed, did a final read through and submitted them. Then she settled in to write a proposal for the first half of her story, outlining the escort angle among the wealthy in Chicago. If she could get a foot in the door, she could write about being an escort.

  Her gut tightened at the thought. She didn’t know if she could go through with sleeping with some guy for money. No, she knew she couldn’t. But how far would she go for a story? She left the barely written proposal open on her computer and decided lunch with Kathy was in order.

  She texted her friend and then quickly dressed. Kathy said she could meet in a half hour, so Moira headed out. She arrived at the flower shop a little early, so she checked out the arrangements Kathy had on the counter. “How’s it going?”

  “Busy,” Kathy replied with a pair of scissors in one hand and ribbon in the other.

  “If lunch won’t work today, we can make it some other time.”

  “I’m going to make it work. I worked last night until after ten and came back again this morning at six. I need to get out of here. Just let me finish this.” She cut the stems on a couple of flowers and shoved them into the vase.

  Moira knew next to nothing about flowers, having hardly ever received flowers from a guy. That was something else she should add to her keeper list: a guy who sent flowers.

  “Let’s go. Anna will keep an eye on everything until we get back.” Kathy yanked off her apron and tossed it on the counter. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.”

  “Actually, a whole lot. Jimmy kissed me again yesterday morning. Then I asked him out on a date, which he backed out of at the last minute, and then he showed up at my apartment with ice cream.” Moira slipped her arm through Kathy’s and led her out the door of the shop. “And that’s just my love life. I’ve got things going on career-wise too.”

  They walked to a burger place on the next block, ordered food, and sat.

  Kathy groaned. “God, it feels good to sit down.” She sighed again and then said, “Finish telling me about Jimmy. I can’t believe he kissed you again. What’s his excuse for the on and off bullshit?”

  “I confuse him.”

  Kathy laughed.

  “He doesn’t want to like me or get involved with me because of Liam. But it’s there, Kath. The attraction, the zing, it’s there big-time. And I’m comfortable around him, you know, since I’ve known him my whole life.” She spun her drink in slow circles.

  “But?”

  “But nothing. I’m excited.” She paused, still trying to ignore the doubts. “However, he made an excellent point. What if things don’t work out? He was talking about his relationship with Liam, but I’ve spent so many years longing for him, that I’m afraid the reality won’t live up to the fantasy.”

  “It never does. Why worry about it? I’m more concerned about where he thinks things will go between you. I know those O’Malley boys. You deserve to be more than a notch on a bedpost.” She took a long drink of her pop.

  Moira knew the remark came from Kathy’s brief stint as Kevin’s girlfriend or whatever she’d been. Moira had introduced them one year at the block party, and they had hit it off. Unfortunately, Kevin had neglected to explain his idea of a relationship, which mostly consisted of being friends with benefits. He was the sole reason Kathy no longer came to the block party.

  Yet another reason to be annoyed by Kevin.

  “Jimmy is nothing like Kevin.”

  Kathy raised her eyebrows, but then stood when the counter guy called their number. She returned with a bag holding burgers and awesome fries.

  “In addition to bringing me ice cream last night, he watched His Girl Friday with me. All the way through, even though I fell asleep.”

  “Ooo . . . that puts him in the keeper column.” Kathy narrowed her eyes. “Why did you fall asleep? I don’t think he gets keeper credit if it was a postcoital decision.”

  Moira laughed so hard she choked on her fries. “We kissed. A couple of times, and he pulled back like a gentleman. He has some family issues to deal with, but he wanted a rain check for our date.”

  Kathy bit into her burger, so Moira starting eating in earnest. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Maybe ice cream and popcorn for dinner hadn’t been the best choice.

  After a few bites, Kathy said, “So spill. What else puts him in the keeper column? I know you’ve always had him there, but did you have a reason?”

  Moira chewed and thought. She couldn’t argue Kathy’s point. Jimmy had always been in the keeper column because she just knew. Rather than try to explain her gut reaction, she went for the obvious. “He has a steady job. Jimmy has always worked. He did watch my favorite movie with me, which I think gets bonus points. He brought fudge brownie ice cream.”

  Kathy took another long drink, as if waiting for more. “Okay. Job, movie, chocolate. I’ll just assume he has sexy arms since you’ve been drooling over him forever. What else?”

  “Besides being able to kiss and knock my socks off?”

  “Yeah. Is he nice to his mom?”

  “She’s dead. But he does take care of his dad. He’s always taken care of his brothers.” Moira thought about how he would take care of Norah too. And her baby. A little spear of fear shot through her. What would that mean for them if he had to take care of Norah and her baby? He’d said he couldn’t handle a relationship, and now she understood what he’d meant. He was talking about Norah.

  “You’re listing some pretty damn good stuff, but is he right for you?”

  Moira shrugged. She didn’t know. Although she’d always wanted him and known he was a keeper, she’d never thought anything would come of it. “That’s what dating is for. He’s a keeper. I never said he was my keeper.”

  But in her heart, she really hoped he would be.

  CHAPTER 8

  Jimmy’s life had become a flurry of activity. The property crimes cases he had been working on were shoved on the back burner again. Elks agreed to continue the investigation into the theft ring based on the information Len provided. What they hadn’t expected was for two other men to come forward with information. Unsurprisingly, they were Len’s friends, everyone except for Stan Decker. They expressed a sense of betrayal because Jimmy had lied about his identity, but the mayor admitted the undercover work had been his idea.

  As excited as the new information should’ve made him, Jimmy felt overwhelmed. For every inroad they thought they found, they really hit four more obstacles. Every man had been with a different woman, different names, different descriptions, but they all had the same story. Each man’s house was burlgarized while he’d spent the night with the escort while his wife had been out of town.

  He and Gabby waded through notes on three interviews and found few common threads. The women introduced themselves to the men at different func
tions. They all met at different hotels. They all had different burner phones that were no longer in service.

  Even more perplexing was that the houses had no signs of forced entry. They bypassed security systems. Jimmy and Gabby had no idea how they managed to get in. To top it off, because the houses were not treated as crime scenes, they had no evidence.

  Frustration clawed at Jimmy. This investigation was turning out to be worse than some of the cold cases he’d encountered.

  And now he had to go home and deal with Norah. She’d texted him earlier today and apologized for dumping on him without warning. Tommy had also texted letting Jimmy know he was still fuming. Like Kevin, Tommy wanted to go to Boston and beat the crap out of some guy. The problem was, they had no idea who the guy was.

  Jimmy looked at the clock just as Gabby stood.

  “We should call it a night. The commander will have guys pulled in tomorrow to run a task force. They’ll probably want to run a full game for James Buchanan and set him up as a decoy. Don’t you think?”

  Jimmy nodded and then rolled his neck. Nothing would relieve that tension. A sudden flash of Moira’s smiling face hit him. She involved a totally different kind of tension, but one he couldn’t deal with. Not tonight. Maybe no time in the near future. “Yeah, let’s go. We’ll have to be here early to address this.”

  As they walked out, Gabby said, “Pretty cool way it’s going, though. The case. It looks to be a big one. We break this, and we both might get a gold star next to our names.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Are you okay? You seem distracted, which isn’t like you at all.”

  “Sorry. I am a little. I’ll unfuck my brain tonight and be good tomorrow.” He hoped he was telling the truth. He needed to be on his game to be on the task force.

  He walked Gabby to her car and waited until she pulled away. His head ached with being pulled in too many directions. Sitting in his car, the heat pressed on him and he turned the air on high. He rolled the windows down and closed his eyes. Five minutes. He wanted just five minutes without something needing his attention.

  The whir of the air blowing through the vents soothed him, and for the first time since he left Moira’s apartment last night, his muscles unknotted a fraction and he was able to catch a breath. Thinking about sprawling on Moira’s couch eased his muscles a little more. Before he developed a real thought, he pulled out his phone and dialed Moira’s number.

  At the sound of the first ring, the realization hit him that he didn’t really know why he was calling. He couldn’t spend time with her. Not now, not with the case taking off, and not with Norah being pregnant and hiding in his room. The third ring sang in his ear and he considered hanging up. But then he knew she would call him a coward.

  Fourth ring and then her voice, light and bubbly, came across the line. “Hey, can’t come to the phone right now. I might be partying or writing or both. Maybe I’m just indulging in chocolate, but you won’t know if you don’t leave a message so I can call you back.”

  He rolled his eyes at her long message as he waited for the beep. “Hey, Moira. It’s Jimmy. I was calling . . .” He listened to her long-ass message and hadn’t come up with something to say. “Just hi.”

  After disconnecting, he tossed the phone into a cup holder and headed home. On the way, he tried to process that his baby sister was pregnant. She obviously planned to have the baby, but he had no idea if she wanted to keep it. They needed to come up with a plan. She had some serious decisions to make in regard to her future.

  When he pulled up to the house, he didn’t see Sean’s motorcycle at the curb, which was weird because he’d said he’d take Dad into work with him. Shit. Unless he didn’t. Which would mean that Dad was home with Norah. Jimmy left his car and walked into the house, finding it eerily quiet. “Hello?”

  No one answered. He went to the basement door first and yelled to Tommy and Sean, but still got no response. Dad’s bedroom was empty as well, so he headed upstairs to look for Norah. His door was open and she sat in his study watching TV.

  “Hey,” he called softly.

  She turned suddenly, her eyes wide. “Hi.” She clicked the TV off. “Where is everyone?”

  “Sean came home from work with Dad. I don’t know what he told him, but he dragged Dad and Tommy back out and took them to dinner.” She rubbed her hands on her belly. She looked far older than she should. “I think they wanted us to talk alone.”

  Jimmy crossed the room and squatted in front of her. The anger bubbling just below his surface was held in check because she looked so vulnerable. “How did this happen?”

  Norah kept her head down, refusing to meet his eyes. She coughed a laugh, and a tear streaked down and plopped on her hand. “You gave me the talk when I was eight, Jimmy. We both know how this happened.”

  “I also taught you about protection.”

  “Nothing is one hundred percent effective.”

  He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear so he could see her face better. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? You could’ve called me. How far along are you?”

  “Six months. I didn’t tell anyone at first. I was scared, so I hid it. I was able to hide it pretty well. Then I started showing and couldn’t hide it behind a big T-shirt. Aunt Bridget flipped out.” She swiped at a tear and took a deep breath, still not looking at him.

  “She didn’t say anything.”

  “That’s because I told her you already knew and you were okay with it.”

  He rose and pulled the ottoman close to the chair and sat in front of her. “But you didn’t.”

  “Of course I didn’t. I knew you’d freak out more than she had.” Now she did look up as if to dare him to disagree.

  He couldn’t.

  “What was your plan?”

  “I left Aunt Bridget’s house and crashed with some friends until the semester was over. Then I planned to come home, but I got scared all over.”

  “School was done over a month ago. Where have you been?”

  “Mostly hanging with friends. I finally got tired of couch surfing. I quit my job and came home. I wanted to call, but I didn’t know what to say.”

  She plucked at nonexistent threads on her shirt. He hated seeing her so unsure of herself. Norah had never been shy or afraid of anything. Now, she curled into herself and he wasn’t sure how to reach her.

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He released a breath and tamped down the urge to yell at her. Tommy had done enough of that last night. “What about the father?”

  “What about him?”

  “Who is he?”

  She shook her head before speaking. “I’m not going to tell you.”

  He stood, needing to move to work the frustration out. “He has just as much responsibility in this as you do.”

  “If I tell you, you guys are going to go crazy on him and that’s not fair.”

  “You spent the last few months sleeping who knows where and you’re worried about what’s fair for him?” His voice started to rise.

  “He doesn’t know.”

  She spoke so quietly that Jimmy wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “Did you say he doesn’t know?”

  She nodded.

  Jimmy paced a few more steps. He breathed deeply. He didn’t want to fly off the handle, but he felt it coming. “Why the fuck doesn’t he know? You didn’t call me, that’s bad enough, but you sure as hell should’ve told him.”

  She stood and launched herself at him, holding him in a tight hug like she had after a nightmare when she was a kid.

  Jimmy held her, feeling awkward with the baby bump hitting him. He brushed his hand over her hair. “Besides having a responsibility to you and the baby, he has a right to know, Norah.”

  “I know, but . . .” She sniffed and pulled away from him. She turned away before continuing. “He wasn’t a one-night stand, Jimmy. He’s a good guy. We met over Christmas break, and I fell hard for him. We had
a great couple of weeks, but then he went back to school. We tried the long-distance thing. He visited a few weekends, but it didn’t work. We ended on good terms, but then I found out I was pregnant. I was going to call him, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I waited.”

  She walked the room, absently touching shelves and books before stopping in front of the window that looked out over the street. “He came back to Boston for spring break. Just to see me. He gave up going to Mexico with his friends so he could spend the week with me. And I planned to tell him then. But it felt so good to have him back. I felt normal with him and I didn’t want to lose that. I wasn’t showing yet, so no one knew, which made it easy to pretend I wasn’t. So I waited some more. Then I ended up waiting so long the decision was made for me. Kind of.”

  “I assume you know how to reach him?”

  She nodded.

  “You need to tell him. He should have some input.”

  “I’m afraid, Jimmy.”

  “Of what? You didn’t do this alone.”

  “No. I’m more afraid he’ll want to have this baby with me.”

  “What’s wrong with that? Nothing says you have to marry the guy.” He shoved his hands in his pockets to hide his frustration.

  “I’m afraid he’ll give up his life, his dreams, his plans, for me and the baby. I don’t want him to do that.”

  Jimmy sank onto the chair Norah had vacated. So his sister was trying to be noble? “You shouldn’t have to give up your life and dreams either. This is something the two of you need to work out.”

  And if this guy bailed, he would have to answer to Jimmy.

  Norah leaned her forehead against the glass but didn’t argue.

  Now Jimmy needed her to cross the next hurdle, so they could make plans. “Do you want to keep the baby?”

  She offered a pitiful movement that tried to be a shrug. “I don’t know if I want to be a mom. But when I think about not having this baby in my life, I can’t imagine that either. I don’t know what to do. That’s really why I came home.” She finally turned and looked at him. “What should I do, Jimmy?”