Between Love and Loyalty Page 19

  She took off her jacket and sat across from him. “What’s going on, Dad?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She pointed to the window behind him where the drapes were drawn tight. He usually left them open for the natural light, he wouldn’t want to make it easy for the photographers outside.

  “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

  “Don’t do this. Reporters are camped out here. They’re bothering Sarah at the outreach center. This is something.”

  “We’ve been through this before. People will try to take me down. It won’t happen.” He shuffled the papers and set them down. “Your mother will be glad you’re here. You know how she likes to rally the troops.”

  “I’m not here to rally. I’m here for the truth.” The tension knotted her shoulders and her throat tightened.

  “What are you talking about?”

  She stood and started pacing. She didn’t how to word this, what she really meant. “I want to know if the accusations are true.”

  “Absolutely not. How can you even think that of me? Of us?”

  “I don’t…or at least I haven’t, but now… This information can’t be completely fabricated. It must come from somewhere. Are you telling me there is no truth to any of it?”

  His cheeks flared, but she wasn’t sure if anger or embarrassment or guilt caused it. Her dad was flustered, though, and that never happened.

  “I’ve worked to make this city better. Every choice I’ve made has been to improve the lives of my constituents.”

  God, all she wanted was for him to say that it was all a lie. That he was still the man she’d always believed in. But he didn’t. He covered with campaign promises and political rhetoric. And in that moment, she knew her father was guilty. Of how much was the only remaining question.

  She stared at her father with new eyes. How had she never seen it before? The shift in his eyes, the twitch in his cheek. “I deserve better than the crap you spew at strangers. Tell me the truth.”

  “How dare you come in here and accuse me, young lady?”

  “I’m not a little girl any more, Dad. I’m an adult and the things you do have an impact on me, no matter how much I’ve tried to keep it all separate. It’s always been there, creeping at the edges of my life, but now it’s in my face.”

  “I am innocent.”

  “I wish I could believe you. Just tell me one thing. Is the outreach center okay, or is this going to spill over to more than a few random questions about you?” She crossed her arms and stared at the legs of his ornate desk. She didn’t want to face her father, afraid he’d tell another lie.

  “Every penny we gave to the outreach center we gave because we care about you and your interests.”

  Always a lawyer. He hadn’t said he’d done nothing wrong, nothing illegal. How close to the line had he traveled?

  “Fiona, darling, you’re finally here,” her mother called from the hallway.

  Fiona turned toward the door as her mother came rushing into the room. She reached up and cradled Fiona’s face with both of her hands. “You haven’t been sleeping. What’s happened?”

  She pushed away from her mother. “What’s happened? How can you even ask? Our family is all over the news. People are accusing Dad of being corrupt.”

  Her mother waved off Fiona’s concerns as if swatting a fly. “That’s nothing. Our people are working on it now. We’ll be fine. I’m worried about you. Aiden said something about you bringing this Connor character to our family dinner for Thanksgiving. What’s that about?”

  Fiona couldn’t believe her mother focused more on a stupid dinner than the accusations. “I care about Connor. He’s a good man and he’s part of my life now. If you have a problem with him being here, than you can expect me not to come.”

  Her mom blinked rapidly as she tried to process Fiona’s words. “Well, of course he’s welcome to join us,” she stammered.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw her dad flinch. They obviously hadn’t discussed this. “I appreciate it, Mom, but with all of this attention on us right now, I don’t know if we’ll be here. He doesn’t want to be part of this circus.”

  Her mother had moved on to straightening items around the room: fluffing pillows, shifting statues, and rearranging a handful of coffee table books. “Our life is difficult, but not a circus. Your father and I have spent years cultivating the appropriate image for this life.”

  “I’m not part of your image, Mom. You point it out all the time. Nor do I want to be part of the image. I want to know who my parents are. I never thought the rumors were true. I always believed you when you said it was nothing to worry about. But this feels different.”

  “It’s not,” her father finally said. “In the past few elections, you haven’t noticed because I ran uncontested. There remains a certain contingency that would like me removed from office. They’re playing dirty. I’ve been down this road before and I’ll make it through to the finish line as I always have.”

  Why did she feel like she was on a Tilt-a-Whirl, spinning and spinning and going nowhere? She came for answers so she’d feel better, but her parents continued to talk around her instead of to her.

  “I’m going home. What should I tell reporters when they inevitably stop me?”

  “Tell them no comment. Do not engage them,” Dad ordered.

  As if she wanted to engage them. “Fine.”

  “Fiona, stay,” Mom said. “I haven’t seen you for so long and you’ve been ignoring my calls.

  “I’ve been ignoring you because you try to run my life.”

  “Really, Fiona, sometimes I think you should’ve been an actress instead of an artist. You do enjoy the drama.”

  Fiona let out a frustrated scream. “You need to hear me this time, Mom. Do not try to dictate what I do with my life. Not my career, not who I date. Nothing. You have enough to worry about with Dad’s mess. Stay out of my life, or I’ll ignore you so much you’ll wonder if you really have a daughter.”

  “Fiona.” Her dad’s voice was sharp.

  She felt like a teenager again, trying to win approval and independence. Fiona stared at her parents and she knew. They would never change. They would always treat her like a child.

  Grabbing her coat from the chair, she simply said, “Good-bye, Dad,” and brushed past her mother without a word.

  She darted out the back door and practically ran to her car. Not that it stopped the reporters from following, yelling questions at her back. She only hoped they wouldn’t follow her. She needed peace.

  * * *

  Connor worked all day, but he worried about Fiona. He’d tried calling and left her a text. She responded with a quick I’m fine. I’ll pick up dinner. He had no idea what happened with her parents or where she was.

  Normally, it wouldn’t bother him; he liked being alone and not having to worry about other people. It had been one of the reasons why he’d given his mother money and sent her away. But Fiona crawled under his skin and tangled in his instincts. He wanted her to talk, to be herself.

  Maybe she needed some time and space. By dinner, she’d be ready to let him in.

  When he got home, he knew Fiona was there because he saw her car parked in front. She was curled up asleep on his new couch with Max guarding over her. She needed to sleep to make up for what she hadn’t gotten the night before, so he walked quietly past her and into the kitchen. He expected Max to follow, but the traitor didn’t.

  It was sad how his best friend chose a woman over him. Not that he could totally blame the dog. Fiona had many fine attributes. He checked the oven and the fridge and found no food. It didn’t look like Fiona had gotten dinner, so he ordered a pizza and went up to shower. She slept through all his moving around.

  The pizza arrived and the doorbell finally woke her. She sat up, startled, and looked around like she had no idea where she was. Connor paid the delivery guy and brought the pizza to the couch. “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey.” Her voic
e was scratchy and he wondered if she’d been crying. “Sorry. I meant to go out and pick up dinner, but I sat down and the couch totally sucked me in. It’s a great couch.”

  “You were exhausted. Feeling okay?”

  She nodded and he wanted to pry, but didn’t. Fiona curled her legs under her and sniffed at the pizza. “I’m starving. Let’s eat.”

  Connor flipped the box open and went to the kitchen for a couple of beers and napkins. When he came back, Fiona was already chomping on a slice. Although she smiled at him, it didn’t brighten her face. The simple muscle movement meant nothing. They ate in silence and once again, Connor wished he had a TV or radio or something in his living room. Quiet and solitude never bothered him as much as it did while Fiona sat beside him.

  She looked him over. “You don’t work like that, do you?”

  He glanced down at the unbuttoned jeans he’d pulled on so he could pay the delivery guy. He flexed the muscles on his bare chest. “Why? Do you think it’ll bring in more customers?”

  “I’m sure it would, but I don’t want other women to see what I get to see. It’ll make them horribly jealous.”

  As much as he enjoyed her teasing, he didn’t want her dodging the issue at hand. “How did it go with your parents?”

  Her teeth sank into another slice of pizza and cheese stretched out as she pulled it away from her mouth. She chewed and rolled her eyes as if she had to develop an answer. He didn’t like this practiced version of Fiona. He liked the woman who blurted and rambled.

  “It was fine, I guess. Looking back, it’s what I should’ve expected.”

  Which told him exactly nothing.

  “While I listened to my parents, I had this amazing realization. Just because I’m their daughter doesn’t mean I need to be part of what they have going on. I don’t need to try to make it better and I certainly don’t have to suffer for it.” She returned to her pizza.

  He’d been trying to get her to understand exactly that. “Sounds like a plan. How do you feel, though?”

  “I’m still frustrated. And a little sad because they never let me in. They treat me like a kid, sheltering me from everything and, especially my mother, trying to run my life. I thought I was okay before, but I wasn’t. I acted like I did whatever I wanted, regardless of my parents, but it was never true. I feel like my whole life is a lie.”

  Connor slid closer to her and put his arm behind her head. “We’re not a lie, and we have nothing to do with your parents. Your art, your jewelry—that’s no lie either.” He sipped on his beer and tried to form the right words. “I don’t think your life has been a lie as much as it was you choosing not to fight. Sometimes the fight’s not worth it.”

  She settled next to him and picked at the label on her beer. “How do you know when the fight is worth it?”

  “When it bothers you enough, you need change. That’s all it is. You’re ready for something to change. I only hope it’s not us.”

  She turned and kissed him. As she deepened the kiss, she climbed onto his lap and straddled him, her cold bottle of beer pressed against his shoulder. Pulling away from the kiss, she leaned her forehead against his. “I don’t want us to change either. I think you’re the only thing keeping me sane right now.”

  He took the beer from her hand and set it alongside his on the coffee table, then set to pulling off her clothes. Fiona was quiet as he kissed her and ran his lips across her chest and down her stomach. He loved every inch of this woman and he had no words to describe it.

  Max began to whimper and Connor tried to ignore him, but then Fiona let out a yelp. “What?” he asked.

  “Max rubbed his cold nose against my back. I think he needs to go out.”

  Connor grunted. First the dog ignored him to hang out with Fiona and now he was stopping Connor from getting laid. He shifted Fiona off his lap. “Don’t move.”

  He stood and rubbed his hand on Max’s head. “Come on, boy. Let’s go.” In the kitchen, he grabbed Max’s bowl and filled it with water. He let Max out and hoped the dog would be satisfied until he finished.

  Connor returned to the living room and although Fiona looked like she was in the same spot, he knew she’d moved because her bra and underwear were gone. Seeing her naked and splayed out on his couch made his dick throb. He dropped his pants and then knelt in front of her. He grabbed her knees and yanked her to the edge of the couch, spreading her legs.

  Her breaths became shallow and he saw she was already wet. He dipped his head and swiped his tongue over her. She sighed with the movement, so he did it again, slower this time. Now, her breath hitched. He looked up at her and her blue eyes were hazy with lust. He lowered his head again and she closed her eyes.

  Connor bit her inner thigh, making her jump before soothing it with his tongue. Her hips began to wiggle as he swirled his tongue over her and then sucked on her clit. Her right hand slapped down on his shoulder and her nails dug in. He waited for her to issue some demand, but she didn’t. She let him do what he wanted.

  He wanted her slow and writhing and ready to scream his name. He needed her to know that whatever secrets they’d had between them, this was no lie. They were more real than anything he’d ever known.

  Later, Fiona stretched out next to him on his bed. Her head lay on his chest and she swirled her fingers around the hair there. They’d made love on the couch, but they’d gotten cold. Another item to add to his shopping list: a blanket for the living room. They got Max settled in for the night and came upstairs.

  “What are you going to do about your parents?” he asked.

  “There’s nothing I can do. Like you said, I never fought anything. Now, I know I need to. I’m not ready to walk away from my parents. I mean, they’re my family and I love them. But I deserve to have my own life. That much I made sure my mother understood. I don’t know about the rest.” She pushed up on him to look into his face. The room had darkened, but light from outside glinted against her pale eyes. “My dad’s guilty of something. He dodged too many of my questions for me to believe he’s innocent. I still want to believe him, but it’s what he’s not telling me that worries me.”

  Connor knew she should be worried. Brady Cavanagh didn’t deserve her trust, but Connor had no way to explain it to her.

  “I’m tired of the secrets and lies. When I lied to you about my last name, it gnawed at me the entire time. I can’t understand how they live their lives shrouded in lies and secrets. How do they function?”

  He stroked her back and toyed with her curls. “Maybe they lied to protect you. I can understand. Sometimes a lie is easier if it keeps people you love safe.” He hoped his secrets protected her and what they shared.

  Fiona fell silent for a minute, then she pushed all the way to a sitting position. “No, I don’t buy it. One lie leads to more. The whole tangled web and all. At some point, don’t you lose yourself? Become more of the lie and less of who you are?”

  How could he explain that his lies, his secrets, allowed him to become more of himself? It sounded ridiculous. “As much as you didn’t like lying to me about your name, did you ever feel less than yourself?”

  She flopped back down against the pillow beside him with a groan. “How do you do that?”

  “What?”

  “Make it sound okay. Lying about my name allowed me to be myself because I didn’t have to worry about whether you wanted something from my dad. There was no history attached to me because of who my family is. But I don’t think it’s the same when it comes to my parents and their lies.” She inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly.

  Connor watched the rise and fall of her chest and the shadows playing across her skin. He couldn’t help her come to terms with her parents. He could only offer shelter for the fallout, whatever and whenever that might happen.

  Chapter 14

  The news about the Cavanaghs faded over the next couple of days, but Connor had a feeling the other shoe hadn’t yet dropped. He also knew he had to address his history wit
h Aiden. He wasn’t sure how to approach it, but it needed to be done. To Fiona, he said, “I need to talk to Aiden.”

  She looked up from his computer where she’d been checking her online sales. “Why do you need to talk to my brother?”

  “We have to talk about our past. I don’t want you caught in the middle of the crap we carry between us.” Although he didn’t want to keep any more secrets from her, or lie to her, he didn’t want to explain everything either. She’d spent a lot of time with Aiden over the last few days and she always looked better after being with him. He somehow steadied her, like a big brother should.

  A crooked smile spread over her face. “You’re going to not only start a conversation, but actually open up about your past? Can I get a video crew in for this?”

  Her quip didn’t amuse him. This was hard enough.

  She rolled her eyes, but said, “I can invite him to dinner.”

  “No, this is something between us. I don’t how ugly it will be, so I don’t want you there. Can you give me his number?”

  She scribbled it on a scrap of paper and handed it to him. She reached up and smoothed her hand across his jaw. “I appreciate you putting in the effort with Aiden. It means a lot to me.”

  Her lips pressed against his gently, reminding him once again how amazing this woman was. He would do whatever necessary to make things work because he wouldn’t lose her.

  He offered her one more kiss good-bye and left the room to go to work. In his truck, he called Aiden. Not surprisingly, he didn’t answer, so Connor left a message.

  Hours later, while in the midst of installing a seat in front of a bay window, Connor received a text from Aiden. He wanted Connor to come to his office at six.

  Connor shook his head. Just like a Cavanagh to demand a time and place. But for Fiona, he’d suck it up and go to Aiden. He’d prefer neutral ground, but at least in Aiden’s office no one would misconstrue it as a social visit.

  At six on the nose, Connor stood in front of a Northside office building signing in with a security guard. It looked like reporters had gotten bored with Aiden, which hopefully meant they were done with Fiona as well. If so, she could go home, but he wasn’t in a rush for that to happen. He’d become accustomed to having her in his home and he enjoyed it. He rode up to the eighth floor and practiced his approach.