More Than This Read online

  “I always place teachers where they’re most needed. We need you with the kids who struggle.”

  What a line of bullshit.

  “I really appreciate you helping Shari this summer and my offer for comp time stands. But when the school year starts, I need you exactly where you’ve been. We’ve seen annual growth on our state test scores, and I don’t want to upset a well-oiled machine.”

  Translation: I hired Ackerman to teach Honors and she gets to keep it. I don’t trust her with the other kids.

  Quinn now realized why he gave Shari the summer-school class. It was a test, and Shari failed.

  The determined set to Carlson’s face told her she wouldn’t win this battle. So much for standing up for herself and breaking out of her rut. If this rut got any deeper, it would start to feel like a grave.

  For the first time since she took this job eight years ago, she considered quitting. She briefly imagined standing up and saying, “I quit,” and storming out. But she couldn’t afford to quit at this moment, no matter how much she’d like to. If she was going to spend this year pregnant, staying at Jones would make her life easier. She could teach her lesson plans without effort. After this year, though, she’d need a change.

  She stood and offered Carlson a tight smile. “I understand. I’ll see you later.”

  With one confrontation behind her, she drove to O’Leary’s, determined not to lose her resolve. When she walked in, she waited to get Mary’s attention at the bar.

  The woman was typing madly on a laptop, checking notes on a legal pad, and frowning. Ryan’s car was parked in back, but she didn’t see him. The bar was quiet, except for two old men watching a Sox game at the corner of the bar.

  Mary looked up. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. What can I get for you?”

  “I’m looking for Ryan.”

  “Quinn, right?”

  She nodded.

  “He’ll be down in a few minutes. He ran upstairs to change before going to Twilight.”

  Upstairs? Mary went back to the computer with a frown.

  “Is it as bad as you look?”

  Mary sighed. “I’m trying to design a flyer for our next singles event. We’re doing it at Twilight, so I need something nicer, more elegant.”

  “Can I take a look?”

  Mary shrugged and turned the computer.

  Quinn read. “What’s a lock-and-key party?”

  “All the women get a lock when they arrive. Men get keys. Everyone wanders around, getting to know the other participants, and tries to find a match.”

  “Sounds kind of sexist. Reminiscent of chastity belts.”

  A frown creased Mary’s face again. “I hadn’t thought of that. I thought it would be a fun way to network and meet people. There are multiple sets, so one guy could open a few locks.”

  “I didn’t mean to offend you. It sounds like fun. Pressure free, unlike speed dating, where you have such a short time to make an impression and make a judgment.”

  Quinn fiddled with the layout and design of the flyer. She dragged clip art and changed the font. “How’s that?”

  Mary pulled the computer back to face her. “Wow. That’s what I was looking for. I’ve been playing with this for an hour.”

  “Glad to help.”

  “Do you know anyone who might be interested in coming?”

  Quinn nodded. She didn’t know why. She supposed it was because she liked Mary. “Add me and my sister, Indy, too. I’ll drag her along.”

  A flicker of surprise crossed Mary’s face, like she hadn’t expected Quinn to join. “Same last name?”

  “Yep.”

  The back door slammed. The hall was too dark to see anything, but Quinn knew it was Ryan. She knew the feel of his eyes on her.

  He walked into the light while tucking his tailored black shirt into his pants. His hair, usually scruffy, looked styled, as if he actually used a comb. This was the sleek Ryan. A smile brightened his face and she saw nothing but her friend, slick or not.

  “Hi.” He walked around the bar and waved at the men watching TV.

  “Looking uppity there, boy. You’re not instituting a dress code here, are you?”

  “Don’t worry, Pete. I’ll never expect you to wear anything but what you do every day. I know better than to try to class up this place.”

  “Good. Your daddy’d be rolling in his grave if you did.”

  Quinn heard the affection in their voices. She wondered how long the two men had been coming into the bar.

  Ryan reached her, slid a hand around her lower back, and kissed the top of her head. Between the genuinely sweet gesture and his scent, her determination began to dissolve.

  No, I’m doing this. She stiffened under his touch. “Do you have time to talk? Privately?”

  “Sure. Let’s go to my office.” He tapped the bar. “I’ll be in back, Mary.”

  Quinn led the way, trying to put distance between them. In his office, she chose a stiff-backed chair over the couch, so he’d be limited as to how close he could get.

  “I’m glad you stopped by.” The door closed with a quiet click. “About last night.”

  She held up a hand to stop him. “I got your message. I appreciate the warning. I guess I owe you again.”

  He sat in the chair beside her, their knees almost touching. “I’ll add it to your tab.”

  She forced a tight smile and scooted farther back in the chair. She held her hands on her knees, but she wanted to tangle them in his perfectly styled hair. “I’m not mad about last night, but I have been thinking.”

  “So have I.”

  “You have?” She didn’t hide the surprise in her voice.

  He touched her thigh. “Yeah, let’s face it. Casual sex isn’t working.”

  “I told you that the first time we went out.”

  “I know. Part of me didn’t believe you. I tried to listen, but it didn’t work.”

  “Tell me about it.” She wanted to be relieved that he understood the complications.

  “There’s only one thing to do.” He sighed and put his elbows on his knees.

  “I’m so glad we agree.”

  “We do?” His forehead furrowed in confusion.

  “I can’t risk losing our friendship. Isn’t that what you were saying?” She crossed her arms and leaned back.

  “No, I think we should jump all the way in and be a couple.” He straightened in his seat.

  “What?” She jumped to her feet and stepped behind her chair.

  “I think we should date exclusively. And have lots of monkey sex.” He grinned, and she almost melted.

  She braced her hands on the back of the chair and shook her head. “I have no intention of being your experiment with monogamy.”

  “Are you accusing me of being commitment-phobic?”

  “If it fits.” What the hell was he thinking? She could never be with him and wonder how long it would be until he tired of her. Then she would surely lose him as a friend.

  He stood and anger flashed in his eyes. “You’re the one who runs at the sight of a relationship.”

  “Fuck you. I’m not afraid of commitment. I was married.”

  “You admitted your marriage was a mistake. How long did it last? How many serious relationships since?”

  He moved so he was close once again. She backed away from the chair and his touch. She paced near the couch. “I gave it a serious shot. My marriage failed after three years. But at least I tried.”

  “I did too.”

  Her head snapped back to his face. He’d never said he’d been married.

  “I was with a woman for six years. I wanted to marry her. I planned to, but she decided she couldn’t do forever with me. I believe marriage means forever.”

  She stood gasping at him. The words wouldn’t come. She closed her eyes and turned her back. Marriage? Forever? Did he want to marry her? Her heart beat against her ribs and she was sure it would break free.

  “I’m not talking marriage h
ere, but I want to continue what we started.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I thought this summer was all about taking chances.”

  “If you know me so well, you’d know I’m a chicken.” She turned in his arms. “I want to keep you as a friend. I don’t make friends easily. At least not real ones. You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’m comfortable and at ease around you. I can be myself.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “What happens when things don’t work out? When there’s a new flavor you want to try? Then I lose a valuable friend. I don’t think I can handle that.”

  “We’re good together, Quinn. You know that. Why can’t we just see where it goes?”

  “Because if it doesn’t last, then I’ll be alone again.”

  “But you’ll be no worse off than you are now.”

  “I won’t have you anymore. That would be worse.”

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her into his arms. She rested her cheek on his chest. His sigh ruffled her hair.

  “So what happens when you discover you can’t keep your hands off me?”

  She laughed and felt his laugh rumble beneath her cheek. After inhaling his scent deeply, she stepped back.

  “Friends?” She held out her hand.

  “This is a mistake. We can have something special.”

  “We already do,” she responded, patting his cheek.

  She left the office and the bar. If this was the right move, why was her heart so heavy?

  Ryan left O’Leary’s and threw himself into work at Twilight. Over the past weeks, he’d spent a lot less time there in order to be at O’Leary’s, where Quinn could find him and he could spend time with her. With her declaration that they remain nothing more than friends, he had no reason to split his time as much as he had.

  Friends. He’d always been an equal opportunity friend. Over the years he’d had many women as friends. The chemistry he shared with Quinn was something he’d never experienced with any other friend, though.

  Frustration eked into every cell. He’d worked hard to help Quinn with her list. He figured that would be his way in. Maybe he’d done too good of a job.

  He wanted her to be happy. She was happy with him and he knew that, but she continued to fight it.

  He saw in her eyes that telling him they couldn’t be more than friends left her unhappy, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t fight for something if she wouldn’t accept it.

  So, he’d accept what he could get and move on.

  He had become good at ignoring the empty space in his chest.

  He spent the afternoon booking new bands to appear at Twilight. He’d been looking for something upbeat and found quite a few. Giving new local bands a chance was one thing he really enjoyed about his position.

  After hours of phone calls and being alone, Ryan left his office looking for a distraction. Moira walked through the door.

  She walked side by side with another woman, one he didn’t know. When Moira saw him, her face broke into a huge smile.

  “Hey, Ry. I was hoping I’d find you here.” She barely brushed a kiss on his cheek. “I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Kathy. Kathy, this is my big brother, Ryan.”

  “Hi. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand and she shook it, holding a little longer than what was polite.

  “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “That’s never good when Moira’s behind it.”

  Moira slugged his arm. “Jerk. I only told her the good stuff.”

  Uh-oh. That’s when it hit him. Moira was blindsiding him with a setup. She’d pulled this before. She’d brought a friend to the bar for dinner, introduced him, then got an “emergency” call that required her quick departure.

  “Can I get you a table?”

  “Yes, please,” Kathy answered.

  He led the way and heard Moira’s whisper, “I told you he was good-looking.” Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear Kathy’s response.

  He stopped at a booth. “Here you go. Let me know if you need anything. Rachel will be here to take your order.”

  Moira took the seat beside Kathy and pointed at the bench across from them. “Come on, Ry. Join us. Even the boss needs to eat.”

  “Oh, yes. Please have dinner with us. I’d like to get to know you.”

  He tried to muster enough irritation at Moira’s meddling to turn them down, but he couldn’t. He raked his gaze over Kathy. She was tall with long wild hair bouncing on her shoulders. She openly flirted with him. She was everything Quinn wasn’t.

  Change might do him some good.

  He sat across from Kathy, and Moira started the conversation. “You and Kathy have a lot in common. She’s the oldest of four kids and she owns her own business.”

  “Really? What kind of business?”

  “A flower shop.”

  Kathy leaned forward and offered him all of the unmistakable signs of flirting.

  She definitely wasn’t interested in being his friend.

  Three days passed. Quinn hadn’t spoken to Ryan. She didn’t want him to think she was avoiding him. Sunday morning brunch was an acceptable thing for friends to do.

  Not knowing whether he’d worked until closing, she decided a text was a good form of contact. If he was still asleep, it would be easy to ignore a text. She sent one word: Brunch?

  She waited, her cell phone in her hand. How crazy is this? I’m like a teenager waiting for the cute boy from school to call. It didn’t matter that she felt silly. The reality was she missed hanging out with Ryan. The past three days had been productive, but much too serious.

  Her phone jingled in her hand, startling her. “Hi, Ryan. I guess you’re awake.”

  “It’s ten o’clock.”

  “I thought you might sleep late if you worked last night.”

  “Do you do anything without thinking it to death first?”

  “I try not to. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving. I don’t remember the last time I went grocery shopping.”

  “Where do you want to go?” She looked out her window. The sky was clear and bright. It reminded her of the day she played hooky.

  “I’ll come get you and we’ll decide.”

  “You’re always playing chauffeur. I’ll come for you.” Besides, it’d be less like a date.

  “Sure?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know where you live.”

  He let out a low chuckle. “I live above O’Leary’s. I thought you knew.”

  “No, you never mentioned it.” She grabbed her purse and keys.

  “Come around the back. You’ll see the stairs to come up.”

  “See you in a few.”

  He must’ve been waiting for her because the door swung open before she had a chance to knock.

  “Hi.”

  She lifted her leg as if to step in, but he hadn’t moved. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

  Something passed over his face, but she couldn’t read it.

  “Sure, if you want.”

  He stepped back from the door that opened to a long hallway. The ancient carpet muffled their footsteps, but the air around her ached for an echo. She followed him to the last door on the right.

  “This is temporary until I figure out where I want to live.”

  She entered to find a small hallway lined with boxes. It looked like moving day. Then she stepped into the living room. The space shouted bachelor pad. A leather couch and big-screen TV dominated the room.

  He leaned against the back of the couch. “I don’t usually have guests. Griffin’s the only person who’s been here.”

  She looked down another hall also lined with boxes.

  “Bedroom’s down there. Kitchen’s behind you. This is obviously the living room.”

  Embarrassment. That’s what she’d seen on his face when she asked to come in. It didn’t sit well on him.

  “Why live above the bar? I’d think you’d get sick of the place.”<
br />
  “It’s convenient. When Cassie broke up with me, I couldn’t find anyplace I liked, so I moved here. I figured it would be a couple of months. It’s been two years.” He shrugged and straightened. “I’m ready to eat.”

  “Good. So am I.” She turned to walk out and waited for him to join her. “Thanks for letting me see your place.”

  He locked the door. “There wasn’t much to see.”

  “Are there tenants in the other apartments?” She looked at the three other doors.

  “No, there used to be, but when the last round of leases was up, we didn’t renew. My dad wanted to fix them up. He got as far as getting new windows in before he died.” He jiggled his keys before shoving them into the pocket of well-worn denim shorts. “My sister Maggie moved in for a while.”

  “That’s a lot of wasted space and income.” She walked down the stairs ahead of him.

  “You sound like Griff. I’ve been busy juggling a lot of stuff. I’ve been meaning to get back to it.”

  “Uh-huh.” She unlocked the car and got behind the wheel.

  He buckled up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “If you made it a priority, you’d get it done. You allow other things to get in the way.”

  “I don’t need a motivational speech. I need food.”

  She laughed. “Where to?”

  Brunch had been perfect. It had been the most relaxing Sunday he’d had in a while. They talked about everything and nothing. He’d thought it would be awkward as he and Quinn tried to stay in the friend zone, but they were naturally comfortable with each other. Maybe she’d been right.

  The thought of ruining that relaxation with a big O’Leary dinner wasn’t appealing. He stretched out on the cool leather sofa and closed his eyes. He needed to go to dinner and talk to Maggie.

  His phone rang, jolting him from the couch. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Ryan. Are you on your way?”

  Moira. Shit. What time was it? “No, I’m still at home.”

  “Good. Stop at the bakery and pick up something for dessert.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. How had he fallen asleep? “Your turn for dessert.”

  “I know. Colin and Liam got into my dessert when I left it unguarded.”