More Than This Read online

  “You’re doing too much.”

  “The bar doesn’t run itself.”

  “You’re not alone, Ryan.”

  “I know, Mom. It’s still my bar. I need to run it.”

  “It’s time you trusted your brother. You need the help. Even your father had you boys to help him. It’s too much for one man.”

  He leaned the sledgehammer against a stud. “I’ve been handling everything for years now by myself.”

  “At what cost, Ryan?” She stood next to him. He towered over her. “You talk to Colin. And bring your lady friend to Sunday dinner. It’s not a suggestion.”

  She walked out of the apartment, leaving the door open. Talk to Colin. He had nothing to say to Colin.

  Ryan had to give him credit, though. Colin had been handling the repairs and maintenance at the house. Ryan hadn’t received one call since Colin had come back. He’d also been a diligent employee. Colin put in his time at Twilight when needed, but O’Leary’s was his home. Ryan couldn’t think about Colin anymore. He needed a break. He called Quinn.

  “Hi, Ryan.”

  “Hey. My mother would like you to come to Sunday dinner.”

  Silence.

  “Quinn?”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I have a lot of packing to do.”

  Packing? New Orleans. “My mom is expecting you. It wasn’t so much an invitation as a command.”

  “She’s not my mother. I don’t have to do what she expects. I have to get ready for my vacation. And there’s Twilight that night.” Her voice was edgy and squeaky.

  “Please. I’m asking nicely. And you owe me.”

  “I don’t owe you enough to warrant you parading me in front of your family.”

  Ah-hah. “It won’t be the whole family. We did that last weekend. It’ll be us and my mom. Maybe Colin or Maggie if they’re around since they live there.”

  “Still a lot of people.”

  “But you know half of us. It’ll only be a couple of hours. You’ll have plenty of time to pack.”

  She sighed. He was wearing her down.

  “Fine. What time?”

  “I’ll pick you up at one-thirty.”

  “I’ll drive myself. Give me the address.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Quinn’s stomach had been fluttering from the moment of Ryan’s invitation. She’d managed to pack up cookies to bring to dinner, but she couldn’t decide what to wear. She settled on denim Capri pants and a purple shell. Not too dressy like she was on a date, not so casual she’d offend his mom. She already had her dress laid out for going to Twilight later.

  She was overthinking. Again.

  The sky was gray and a storm threatened. She hoped it would hold off until she got home. Showing up a sopping mess for dinner would be horrible. At least a good soaking might relieve the humidity. What did it matter? She was headed to steamy New Orleans.

  Her stomach fluttered more. Thinking about vacation was not as relaxing as it should be.

  It didn’t take long to drive to the O’Leary house. She drove slowly down the block, scanning for a parking spot and the right house number. She saw Ryan sitting on the front steps. She used her rusty parallel parking skills a half block down.

  A dribble of sweat trickled down the center of her back. The humidity or nerves? She rubbed at it as she grabbed the container of cookies. Ryan walked down the block to meet her.

  He took the container. “How are you?”

  Nervous. “Fine.”

  “Good. I want to warn you . . .”

  She stopped. “What?

  “Most of the family is here. Moira caught wind of you coming and she spread the word.” He touched her arm. “It won’t be that bad.”

  “If you say so.” Her stomach took a dive.

  They continued walking until they arrived in front of a yellow brick bungalow. She didn’t know what she expected. Something bigger, maybe? Where the heck did they fit six kids in a house this size?

  “Ready?”

  She nodded and started up the concrete steps. Ryan set his hand at the small of her back. She pulled strength from it as she walked past the battered oak door and into the fray of a big family.

  The front door connected directly into the living room. Done in neutral colors, the room would’ve been warm and friendly, except for the men sitting on the couch screaming at the TV. Quinn jolted at the screams.

  Ryan leaned in. “You should see how loud it gets during football season. That’s really our sport.”

  Quinn knew Colin, and she assumed the other man was Liam. She’d seen Michael bartending at O’Leary’s, and he wasn’t here. Liam was the only brother she hadn’t met. He looked nothing like the others. Liam had dark red hair and freckles, where his brothers were all black-Irish—dark hair and brilliant blue eyes.

  Liam’s eyes never left the screen, but Colin’s met hers and he smiled. She returned the friendly gesture and followed Ryan through the formal dining room. The linen-covered table nearly filled the room, and she was grateful for her choice in clothes. Shorts would’ve made her feel terribly underdressed.

  Ryan waited inside the kitchen. “Mom, Quinn’s here.”

  Quinn stood next to him and wondered what Mrs. O’Leary saw when she turned. Rather than take comfort in Ryan’s presence, Quinn stepped forward with an extended arm. “Hello, Mrs. O’Leary. Thank you for the dinner invitation.”

  “Eileen, please.” She stepped closer and placed a small, bony hand in Quinn’s. “It’s about time Ryan brought you. I’ve been hearing your name bandied about for weeks.”

  Quinn stole a glance over her shoulder at Ryan, who was leaning comfortably against the refrigerator.

  The woman who had been standing with her hands in the sink now turned and joined them. She extended her hand. “I’m Moira.”

  “Hi.” Moira had the same coloring as Eileen, and matched Liam. Quinn wondered if Ryan looked as much like his father as Moira did their mother.

  Noise erupted from the living room and Quinn jumped again.

  Moira laughed. “You’ll get used to it. It’s always noisy around here.”

  “I don’t think I’d ever get used to this many people. I only have one sister.” She turned and took the cookies from Ryan. “I brought these for you. Ryan didn’t call me until late yesterday or I would’ve made something a little more special.”

  Moira snatched the container and popped the lid. She sniffed and licked her lips. “I like this one, Ryan. She brings chocolate.”

  This one? Ryan must be in the habit of bringing all of his “friends” home for dinner. Quinn stopped herself from looking at him, but she knew he was still standing there, waiting to rescue her.

  “You shouldn’t have fussed. They all take turns bringing dessert for family dinner.”

  Moira set the container on the already crowded table and selected one. “But we weren’t all supposed to be here today, so there is no dessert.”

  The back door swooshed open and a tall blonde walked through.

  Eileen moved into the woman’s brief hug and then said, “Quinn, this is Brianna, my daughter-in-law.”

  “Well, I will be soon enough. I’m engaged to Michael. He’s on at the firehouse today. Nice to meet you.” She shook Quinn’s hand.

  The kitchen suddenly felt overcrowded. Quinn fought the urge to hide, or worse, leave.

  “I’m going to say hi to the guys.” Brianna looked sympathetically at Quinn but seemed happy for the escape.

  “What can I do to help, Mrs. O’Leary?”

  “First, call me Eileen. Then go relax. Guests don’t need to help.”

  “My help might not be required, but I’d like to. May I set the table?”

  Eileen gave her a slight nod. “Ryan, help with the dishes.”

  Ryan emptied a cabinet of the dishes and placed the stack on Quinn’s waiting arms. She left without him and began setting dishes on the expansive dining room table.

  Conversation in the living room abruptly stopp
ed. She knew she’d been the topic. Ryan followed her, putting silverware down.

  Feet pounded on the stairs and Quinn looked up. A cute young woman flew down the steps. She had dark hair like Ryan’s, cut short like a pixie.

  Her face brightened and she smirked at Ryan. “Hey, Ry. I knew if I waited long enough, someone else would set the table. Who’s your friend?”

  The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Don’t be rude. Maggie, Quinn.”

  Maggie’s face immediately softened, but she crossed her arms. “I guess I owe you some thanks.”

  Quinn set down the last plate. “Me? For what?”

  “Ryan said you told him to talk to me. He actually listened. I didn’t think anyone could get him to do that.”

  “Shut up,” he said tensely, but without anger.

  “You’re welcome.” Quinn had no idea why Ryan was so uptight. She was the one under a microscope. Another hour. I can make it an hour.

  Ryan hadn’t said much, and he’d barely made eye contact with her. If he didn’t want her here, he shouldn’t have invited her. He could’ve told his mother she was unavailable.

  But Eileen didn’t strike her as a woman easily lied to.

  Maggie’s eyes remained on Quinn as she neared. Quinn froze, feeling stalked.

  Moira came in with a bowl of broccoli.

  Hoping her chocolate cookies made her a friend, Quinn said, “Is there something else I can help with?”

  “Sure.”

  Quinn followed and helped carry salad, carrots, and roasted potatoes. Eileen came in with a platter of pot roast that smelled divine.

  At the smell of food, the men came from the living room. Quinn stood idly on the outside of the horde.

  Ryan touched her back. “Just grab a chair. There are no assigned seats.”

  She stifled a little laugh. She had, in fact, been waiting to see what chair would be left empty.

  They all took their seats and Colin said grace. Food was passed and dishes clanked. Conversation was loud. They all seemed to accept her presence and included her.

  I want this.

  The thought slammed into Quinn so hard, she almost lost her breath. This family was incredible. In her short time there, she saw the different personalities and could tell they’d clash often. But underneath it all was an uncommon love.

  That’s what she wanted more than anything.

  The sad part was, she couldn’t offer this to a baby. How selfish of her to think she was capable of being a single mother. Sure, she could do the daily stuff of diapers and bottles, and she would love her child unconditionally, but she couldn’t give a child a family.

  Didn’t every child deserve that?

  Especially hers?

  This was the life she wanted. She looked across the table at Ryan. Her heart thudded when his gaze met hers. What had she been thinking months ago when she’d pushed him away?

  Ryan smiled at her, his reassuring, easy smile, and she knew her plans had been totally and completely derailed.

  She held her own.

  Ryan watched Quinn constantly for any sign of distress. For a woman who insisted she didn’t like crowds, that she didn’t do well with them, she held her own with his family. She fielded questions and commented on any number of conversations taking place around the table.

  She fit in like she belonged.

  And he wanted her to.

  He was grateful for the ongoing conversations because his lungs wouldn’t work. Air trickled in and he hoped no one would notice.

  Quinn had even managed to win over Maggie. They exchanged e-mail addresses so Maggie could send photos from Europe for Quinn to share with her students.

  Brianna hadn’t even fared this well at her first O’Leary family dinner.

  But Quinn was a friend, not a prospective wife. They might not be so amiable if she were.

  “When do you leave for New Orleans?” Colin asked Quinn.

  “In a couple of days.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  “I don’t know yet. I’m driving and taking my time. I’ll decide when I get into town.”

  Moira jumped in. “You’re driving alone? What if you get there and there aren’t any rooms?”

  “I’ll figure it out.” She smiled at Ryan. “Someone told me a vacation shouldn’t be on a schedule, so I’m winging it.”

  Maggie looked triumphant. She nudged Ryan with her elbow. “Did you harass her as much as you did me?”

  He couldn’t think of a response to save himself, so instead he stood and started clearing dishes. He hadn’t known about those plans or he would’ve harassed her. When he said no schedule, he hadn’t meant no plan at all.

  Quinn pushed back from the table. “Eileen, thank you for one of the most delicious home-cooked meals I’ve ever had.” She stood and followed Ryan into the kitchen.

  He filled the sink.

  She handed him her plate. “Are you okay? You didn’t say much during dinner.”

  Swallowing hard, he forced out words, “I’m fine. You did well. I don’t know why you were so nervous.”

  Liam and Colin deposited dishes in the sink silently and disappeared.

  “I gave up being nervous when I realized I had nothing to lose. If they hated me, I’d survive. I don’t have to see them every day, you do.”

  But he wanted her here with him all the time.

  Maggie bounded in carrying a stack of plates. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

  Quinn nodded. “I am. I still have to finish packing and I have plans tonight.”

  “You can stay for dessert. I hear there’s really good cookies here.” She filled the coffee maker with grounds and water.

  “You go ahead and enjoy the cookies. I’m going to say my goodbyes.”

  Maggie grabbed the container from the table and took it out of the room.

  Quinn stayed for a minute. “Thanks for inviting me. I had a good time. Will I see you later?”

  She fidgeted again. Why was she nervous now? Dinner was over.

  “I don’t know. I have to check in at O’Leary’s.” He hated lying to her, but he couldn’t tell her the real reason. He couldn’t stomach watching her flirt with other men anymore.

  “It’ll be tough without my usual wingman, but I guess Indy can fill in.”

  It killed him to hear those words again. Wingman. If he could go back in time, he’d smack himself for even having the thought. “Ready for the last chance to find your romance before vacation?”

  “Ready as I’m gonna get.” She smiled, but it looked wistful, like she thought she was missing out on something. He wanted to pull her back into his arms but knew he couldn’t risk it in front of his family.

  He heard her make her way through the house saying good-bye and thank you. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and started drinking.

  Colin strode in, loaded with bowls of food to be wrapped up. Eileen bustled in behind him.

  “Who’s on dish duty with me?”

  “You’re not children anymore. I don’t keep a list.” His mother’s shortness had him taking another pull from his beer.

  “What are you doing, man?” Colin asked.

  “Having a beer before I start washing dishes. What does it look like?”

  “It looks like you’re avoiding everything and letting the best thing in your life walk out.”

  Eileen left without finishing wrapping the leftovers.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Another sip of beer cooled his throat.

  “You love Quinn. Everyone in this house can see it. You’re standing here instead of going after her.” He leaned against the table.

  “Go after her for what? We’re friends. I don’t figure into her plan.”

  “You are a stupid shit.”

  Ryan set down the beer. He wouldn’t mind a brawl with Colin to ease some of the tension in his body.

  “If you think hitting me will fix things between us, go ahead and do it. I have at least that much coming.”
He continued leaning against the table, not looking concerned.

  Ryan picked up his beer again.

  “I know what my leaving did to you. I know what it cost you. Everything fell on you. The business, the family. I should’ve been here to shoulder some of it. I know it cost you Cassie.”

  “No, it didn’t. It was a factor, but we’d already slid away from each other. She was smart enough to make a clean break.” He finished his beer and chucked the bottle into the trash.

  “The point is, I’m not going anywhere. Let me help. I figure between the two of us, we can take care of the family and the bar and still carve out lives for ourselves.”

  “I have a life.”

  “Yeah, she just left. If you don’t go after her, she’ll be gone for good.”

  “She’s only going on vacation. She’s coming back.”

  Colin pushed away from the table. “She might come back to Chicago, but not to you. This is her chance for a clean break unless you stop her.”

  “You go away for a few years and come back a philosopher?”

  “Yeah, that’s me. Get out of here.” He gave Ryan a shove away from the counter. “Moira, get in here and wash while I dry.”

  “I did dish duty last week. Maggie’s turn,” Moira called from the dining room.

  Maggie returned and poured cups of coffee. “I’ll be back in a minute to do dishes.” She stopped, holding steaming mugs, and looked at Ryan. “For what it’s worth, I like Quinn. She’s good for you.”

  “And you know this from one family dinner?”

  She lifted her shoulder. “I knew before dinner. No one has ever gotten you all twisted up like you have been.” She kissed his cheek and brought the coffee to the dining room.

  “I’ve got a houseful of advice columnists now.” He followed Maggie and kissed his mother good-bye. Outside, the humidity pressed in on him. A storm was brewing in the air, but it had nothing on the one inside his chest.

  Quinn wandered aimlessly through her loft. Nothing felt right. Months ago, Ryan had said he wanted a relationship with her. He’d sent her signals, and she really thought she’d read them correctly. That would’ve been a first. She’d been so close to telling him she’d been an idiot.