Under Your Skin Read online

  Norah walked closer as Moira spoke. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you. I figured I’d make do.” She tugged her shirt and stretched it away from her belly.

  “Don’t thank me yet. Although I’m sure it’ll fit, Quinn’s a teacher and she delivered in early June, so she might not have a bunch of casual stuff. All she asked is that you return it in good condition. She’s planning on more kids.”

  “Let me get the door. If you kick it inside, I’ll have one of the guys carry it upstairs for me later.”

  She held the door open for Moira who hefted the bin and set it in the living room.

  “So what do you have going on today?” Moira asked.

  Norah looked around to make sure none of her brothers were lurking. “I’m going to call the baby’s father and tell him.”

  Saying it out loud felt like a real commitment.

  “Wow.”

  “You want a drink or something?” Norah asked as she pointed to the kitchen.

  “I’m good.” She angled her head and studied Norah. “Would you like me to stay while you call him?”

  The thought hadn’t occurred to Norah, but the offer from Moira appealed to her. She didn’t want to be alone, but she couldn’t ask one of her brothers to be with her. They’d be too focused on gathering information about Avery instead of being supportive. “Would you?”

  “Of course.”

  Norah pulled out her phone. “I think maybe upstairs would be best. You know, in case someone else comes in.”

  “You want me to come up or wait here?”

  “I might need you in the room to make sure I don’t chicken out again.”

  Moira followed her upstairs and when they were closed in the room, Norah sat on her bed. Moira took a chair on the other side of the room, offering some privacy.

  Norah stared at the phone. Her thumb hovered over the contact for Avery. He might not even answer. She could be getting worked up and nervous over something that might not happen right now. Taking a deep breath, she hit call.

  The ringing in her ear fought against the blood-rushing.

  “Hey, Norah. Where the hell have you been? I’ve called you all summer.”

  Well, damn. So much for hoping for no answer.

  “Uh, I came back to Chicago.”

  “Classes start soon. Will I be able to see you before I leave again?”

  “No. I’m, uh, living here now. That’s why I’m calling.” She took a deep breath and glanced at Moira. She was studying her cuticles, but Norah knew she could hear. “I moved back because I’m pregnant.”

  There. It was out. Silence met her. “Avery?”

  “Oh. Well, I know we didn’t talk about exclusivity or anything, but I didn’t expect . . .”

  He thought it was someone else’s. Damn. This was harder than she’d expected. “I’m seven and a half months. It’s yours.”

  “What?”

  “Remember when you came home to Boston for a long weekend? By my estimation, that’s when it happened.”

  “You said you were on the pill.”

  She hated the accusation in his voice. This wasn’t going how she pictured. “I was. But I was getting over bronchitis and the antibiotics must’ve ruined the effectiveness.”

  “Are you sure it’s mine?”

  Never had she thought he’d say that to her. What did he think of her that he believed she’d make this up? “Fuck you,” she whispered.

  “Are you sure?”

  “There hasn’t been anyone else since we met.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I know the feeling. That’s why I haven’t called.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.”

  More silence. Then, “Let me know when you figure it out.”

  He hung up. Norah stared at her phone. She was as alone as she thought.

  Moira was at her side. “Should I even ask?”

  “He questioned if it was his. Like I would lie about something like that.” Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Tears of hurt and frustration and disappointment. Avery was better than that and she knew it.

  “Not that I’m defending him, but this was kind of a big deal to dump on a guy you haven’t seen since what? March?” Moira pulled her into a hug.

  “I know.” She also knew she had this coming. She’d always done everything on her own. This was no different.

  Norah had never wondered what it would’ve been like to have a sister until now. She held on to Moira and let the tears fall. After a few minutes, she pulled away. “I’m not even sure why I’m crying. Hormones, I guess. They’re running rampant these days.”

  Moira nodded and didn’t call her a liar. “I’m around if you need to talk.” She went to the desk and scribbled on a piece of paper. “That’s my number. I work from home mostly, so I’m free for lunch or coffee or talking.”

  “Thanks.” Norah wiped at her face. “I’m okay. I have more thinking to do, but it feels good having that weight off me. Do me a favor, though, and don’t tell Jimmy I called Avery. I’ll tell him.”

  “I’ll keep my mouth shut. For now. But you need to let your family in and let them know what’s going on with you.”

  “I know. It’s just . . . I’ve been on my own for a long time. My aunt took care of me, but we were never close or anything. She policed me. Although Jimmy would help with anything I asked, I didn’t want to run to him all the time. So I got used to figuring things out on my own.”

  Moira swooped in for another hug and whispered, “You’re not alone anymore.”

  Norah bit her lip to stop the flood of more tears. This was why she came home. She knew she wouldn’t be alone. Now she just needed to figure out how to deal with having a family again.

  * * *

  Kai watched as the delivery of rented hospital equipment was brought into his house. How could one woman with a bum knee need so much crap? His spare room was filled, but the most disturbing thing he saw in the room was a bedpan. Jaleesa said nothing about him playing nurse. Take her for a walk. Help her do her exercises. At no point did Jaleesa say empty her bedpan. He’d never been violent toward his sister, but this might push him over the edge.

  His head thumped with a headache. He’d kept his schedule for the afternoon clear to get his mom settled in, but there was no way he’d miss hockey practice tonight. He needed to take the edge off. After he flipped off the light in the bedroom, he turned to the bathroom to get something for his head. There he saw grab bars installed by a toilet with an extra seat to raise the height and more bars and a bench in his bathtub. It was as if it wasn’t even his house anymore.

  He swallowed a couple of aspirin. If he was this stressed before his mom even got there, how would he last weeks of living with her?

  Jaleesa honked from outside to let him know they were there. Kai went out to meet them and help get his mom in. At the car, she leaned pretty heavily on him to get out, but then she waved him off as she switched to a four-footed cane.

  Her progress to the front door was approximately that of a sloth. Kai grabbed her suitcase and followed behind. By the time she got to his stairs, he wanted to scoop her up and carry her in, but knew she wouldn’t have it, and she needed the practice. She gripped the cane and the rail so hard her hands shook with effort.

  Over his shoulder, Kai asked Jaleesa, “Didn’t they give her anything for the pain?”

  “Don’t speak like I’m not standing right here.”

  Jaleesa shook her head. “She’s on over-the-counter painkillers now. And she mostly refuses that.”

  Kai bit down his response. He knew his mother. She’d raised them to suck it up and she expected no less from herself.

  When she finally made it to the porch, he jumped up and opened the screen door for her. She hobbled through and paused in the living room. Kai waited for her to comment. Although she’d been in his house before, she would have something to say. He eased past her and pointed down the hal
l with her suitcase. “I have your room set up over here, Mom.”

  Halfway to the bedroom, she paused for another break. Kai looked at Jaleesa who nodded to let him know this was normal. He waited in the doorway for his mom to catch up. She still hadn’t said much of anything.

  Jaleesa took the suitcase from him. “I’ll get you set up here.” She opened the suitcase on the bed and then turned to the small dresser Kai had picked up at the thrift store.

  Lani shuffled into the room and eased onto the bed. “My underwear and socks go in the top drawer.”

  The thought of handling his mom’s underwear made him grateful Jaleesa was there. He left them and went to the kitchen.

  A little while later, he heard the TV go on and Jaleesa joined him in the kitchen. She pointed to the living room. “She’s settled in front of some talk show.”

  “What the hell is with the bedpan? You said she could handle her bathroom issues.”

  “She can. She’s been making the trip to the bathroom for the last couple of days. I had them bring one just in case she had problems in the middle of the night. It would be more embarrassing for her to wet the bed than to use a bedpan. She probably won’t need it.” Jaleesa moved around his kitchen as if it were her own and made a pot of coffee.

  “If she uses it, you’re coming over to empty it.”

  Lees rolled her eyes. “Can we talk about a schedule?”

  “What schedule?”

  “Mom. She’s okay being alone for short periods, but if someone’s not here to make her do her exercises, she won’t. She’s already complaining about the CPM and how she doesn’t want to use it.”

  “The what?”

  “CPM—continuous passive motion machine. It basically makes her move her leg. She doesn’t like it, but her therapist suggested we get one to make sure she’s moving.”

  It was all too much to grasp. Right now, all he wanted was the buzzing of the tattoo machine and a client who wanted some ink.

  “I have hockey practice tonight. Is that going to be a problem?”

  “What time?”

  “I leave here at seven thirty and I’m not back until eleven, later if I go out with the team.”

  “I can stop by to check on her before she goes to bed and then she should be fine. Since it’s her first night here, try to make it an early night in case she needs something?”

  “What is she going to do when I’m at work all day? I can come home sometimes to check on her, but I can’t babysit.”

  “I know. We’ll figure it out.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “I need a break. This has been so draining.”

  Kai looked at his sister and for the first time saw how exhausted she was. She always handled everything and held them together as a family. Now he saw the toll it was taking. He was a bigger asshole than he thought. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll hire someone to come in and be with her.”

  She opened her eyes and stared up at him. “You sure?”

  He pulled her into a hug. “It’s the least I can do. You’ve done everything and I’ve taken it for granted.”

  “Does that mean Mom can stay here for good?”

  “Hell no. I’ll get her back on her feet, then she’s all yours.”

  Jaleesa slipped away from him, laughing. “Just kidding.”

  “Kai,” Lani called from the other room. “What do you have to drink?”

  “I have coffee on, Mom,” Jaleesa answered.

  “How much waiting on her am I supposed to do?”

  Jaleesa lifted a shoulder. “For the first week or so, maybe quite a bit. She can’t stand for long periods to cook, and she’s still getting used to the cane. Walking and juggling food might be hard. But then, she’ll get better, use the cane a little less for short distances, doing more for herself.”

  Kai sighed. These next few weeks were going to be miserable.

  Chapter Three

  “Please, Tommy? I have to get out of here.” Norah folded her hands and batted her eyes at her brother.

  “Why are you asking me and not Sean?”

  “Because you’re my favorite brother?” She added a wide smile for effect.

  “Hockey practice isn’t a good place for you to hang out.”

  “Why not? I’m sure it won’t be too crowded. And I like to watch you play.”

  “You don’t know anything about hockey.”

  She shrugged. “I’m willing to learn.” She moved across the room to where he was packing his gym bag. “I’ve been cooped up here for days. I’m going crazy. Please.”

  “If you drive with me, you have to take my car to drive yourself home because we go out for drinks after.”

  “I could come with you.”

  He pointed at her belly.

  She rolled her eyes at him. “I didn’t say I’d drink alcohol, just that I’d come with you. You know, be social, talk to people who aren’t my family.” She watched him weigh what she’d said. “I’ll even be your wingman.”

  He chuckled. “Like I need help.”

  “So is that a yes?”

  “We leave in five.”

  “Thank you.” She kissed his cheek and went to grab her purse.

  Two hours later, her butt was numb and her back ached from sitting in the hard chair watching her brothers practice. Tommy was right. She knew nothing about hockey other than they needed to get the puck into the goal. She even had a hard time figuring out which players were her brothers. With all the gear on, they were almost indistinguishable. Some were taller or bigger, but they moved so fast across the ice, she couldn’t focus on any of them.

  A woman sat beside her. “Hi, I’m Caitlyn. Who are you watching?”

  “Hi. I’m Norah O’Malley, Tommy and Sean’s sister.” She thrust out her hand to shake.

  “I’m Chris’s girlfriend. If you want, you can move over to the section where we all usually sit.” She pointed to a section near the center of the rink.

  “We?”

  “Wives, girlfriends, family.” She lifted a shoulder. “We hang out during games mostly, but sometimes we tag along for practice and then go out after.”

  Norah’s entire body buzzed. “I’d love to join you. I just moved back to town and I don’t know anyone.”

  “Come on then.” Caitlyn stood and held out her hand to help Norah up.

  She followed Caitlyn up and over, walking carefully so as to not lose her balance, which was getting more difficult by the day. When they reached the group, Caitlyn pointed to everyone and mentioned names, but Norah knew she wouldn’t be able to keep them all straight. She was just grateful to be among other people.

  They settled in and watched practice. Caitlyn pointed. “That’s Chris. He’s right wing. Your brother Sean is left wing.”

  “Where’s Tommy?” She watched all the players on the ice and still couldn’t pick out her brothers.

  “He’s on offense right now, playing right wing. Sometimes during a game, your brothers will play at the same time and it’s a thing of beauty to watch. They get into this rhythm like they have their own language. I think that’s why the coach has them on different teams for practice.”

  Nothing Caitlyn said about her brothers surprised Norah. Tommy and Sean had always been close.

  Just then one guy rammed into another and smashed him against the glass.

  “Ouch! Who was that? I thought they were all on the same team.”

  “They are. That’s Kai. He’s playing defense and his job is to make sure the puck doesn’t come his way.”

  Norah shuddered. “He seemed kind of mean about it. No wonder there are always so many fights in hockey.” She watched for another minute, thinking about the name. What was the likelihood someone else was named Kai? “Is that Tommy’s boss?”

  Caitlyn shrugged. “Tommy knows him outside of hockey, but he’s a quiet guy. He doesn’t talk much so it never occurred to me to ask.”

  Norah absorbed the information. Kai appeared to be a man of few words and not just around her
. She glanced over her shoulder to try to figure out who was there to watch Kai. It shouldn’t have mattered, but she wanted to know.

  As if sensing what Norah was doing, Caitlyn added, “He doesn’t bring anyone. Ever. Not to games or practice or to the bar after. I don’t think he’s ever brought anyone to the end-of-the-season party either. He’s kind of a loner.”

  Norah said nothing but returned her attention to the game. Now she was doubly glad she’d talked Tommy into bringing her with them. She liked her strange flirtation with Kai. Tommy and Sean would throw a fit if they caught wind of it, but she didn’t care.

  She needed something to feel normal and interesting and attractive now more than ever. Especially since her conversation with Avery. All she’d been able to think about since the call was her time with him. It wasn’t a fling; they’d had real feelings for each other. The fact that he thought she’d lie about the baby being his really stung. Worse was his distance, offering no input.

  Moira had been right. He needed time to think about it. It had to have been a blow to a guy who thought she was calling to make plans for the end of summer. Guilt poked at her for ignoring him for months. He’d deserved better. And if she’d invited him into this whole process earlier, he might’ve been willing to help her decide what to do. She owed him an apology.

  A buzzer sounded and guys moved around on the ice. Her gaze tracked Kai. He wasn’t as fast or graceful as some of the other guys, but he was no less interesting to watch. He suddenly spun around, skates skidding to a stop, and looked directly at her. At least that was how it felt. Her skin prickled and a wave of heat washed over her, making her light-headed. She swallowed hard.

  Caitlyn’s attention was back on her. “Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale.”

  “Yeah. I just got hot all of a sudden.”

  Caitlyn nodded. “Hot flash. My sister had them all through her last trimester.” She dug around in her bag and pulled out a bottle of water. “Here. This might help.”

  Norah took the bottle and chugged half.

  “First one?”

  Norah didn’t know if she was asking if it was her first pregnancy or her first hot flash, but it didn’t matter since the answer was the same. She nodded and sipped more water.