Between Love and Loyalty Read online

  He leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. Not angry, just casual. His body filled the doorway and she skirted past him.

  “I’m going to grab my clothes and head home.” She grabbed her pants from the bottom of the stairs where Connor had stripped them off and then she headed up.

  Connor still said nothing but followed her upstairs. In the bedroom, Max lifted his head from his spot on his bed in the corner. He tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure it would be worth getting up.

  Fiona picked through her clothes on the floor and straightened them. She pulled her panties and pants on. Connor sat beside her on the bed.

  “My offer stands. You can stay.”

  The proposition taunted her. She wanted to stay. To sleep in the comfort and safety of his arms for the night. But she also knew the desire to do so was her main problem. She’d believe she was half in love by morning, and she promised herself and Sarah she wouldn’t let that happen.

  He nuzzled her neck again. “It’ll be fun.”

  She had no doubt, but she pushed off the bed and handed him his shirt back. “That’s why I shouldn’t stay.” She pulled her shirt on, already missing the warmth and scent of his clothes.

  How the hell did this happen every time? “Maybe I’ll see you this weekend?”

  Connor stood. “I have plans this weekend.”

  The acknowledgement of his social life away from her stung in a way it shouldn’t have. She’d admitted to herself that he probably had a line of female admirers. Her crazy fantasies started running before she even knew they existed. “See you around then.”

  She headed for the door. His sigh crept toward exasperation, and he followed her to the front door. She pulled her keys from her coat pocket and buttoned up.

  “I don’t have plans with another woman.”

  “I didn’t ask. It’s none of my business.” She tried to sound believable because she didn’t have a right to ask and it shouldn’t matter.

  He wrapped one of her curls around his finger. “I know you didn’t ask. I’m making it your business.”

  She didn’t know what to make of that. Connor had called himself a booty call. A booty call didn’t provide unnecessary details.

  Breakfast. That’s what changed things. A booty call wasn’t supposed to share meals, was it?

  His quiet laugh pulled her from her rampant thoughts. “I see your brain going a mile a minute.” He kissed her and every thought fled her mind. When he pulled away, he asked, “Do you have plans this weekend?”

  She blinked and tried to form a coherent thought. “I’m working at the outreach center Saturday, like I do every week.”

  “I’m going camping. It’s probably the last warm weekend we’ll have. If you want to come with me and Max, we can wait until you’re done.”

  “Oh, um…I don’t know.” Her heart kicked up a notch. A booty call didn’t make weekend plans together. She didn’t know what to make of the offer.

  Connor brushed a kiss over her cheek. “Think about it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” One thing she could say for Connor was that he was definitely laid back. His no-pressure tactics worked too well on her as evidenced by her quick arrival after his drunken phone call. It was like he was inside her head and knew when to push and when to step back.

  A prick of panic poked at her and she left his house before she could convince herself to stay.

  Chapter 4

  Connor had finally finished the last of the chairs for the dining set. Using Fiona’s body to satisfy himself had cleared his head. He’d get the first coat of stain on the bare wood and then pack for camping.

  Although he loved his house, even with the work it needed, the urge to leave the city to get to wide-open space never left him. Maybe it was the time he’d spent in prison that caused it. The confinement, being surrounded by people with no escape. It had been years since he’d been released, but the lure of fresh air and the outdoors hadn’t diminished.

  Even during the summer months, when the parks were filled with families and groups of campers, he could be alone. He loved his solitude, so he had no idea what had possessed him to invite Fiona. She didn’t seem too interested, but it would give him a chance to get further under her defenses, away from the city and far from the reach of the Cavanaghs.

  Plus, having a warm body to hold onto during the long, cold night might make the intrusion worth it. Connor grabbed a couple of sheets of sandpaper to smooth over the chairs and table before staining. The fine grit paper made the wood feel more polished even without being finished. He dusted the furniture and got his cans of stain.

  Just as he popped the lid off the can, his phone rang. Fiona. “Hello.”

  “Hi, Connor. I know you said you’d call, but I was wondering if the offer to go camping still stands.”

  He’d thought she wouldn’t want to go. But she was making the first move again and she wanted to spend time with him. “Sure. What time do you finish on Saturday?”

  “I’m usually done about one, but I can get out a little early. How about we meet at my place at twelve. Will that work?”

  He’d planned on heading out Friday afternoon and waiting until Saturday afternoon was probably the latest he’d ever gone. “Okay.”

  She grew silent, but didn’t hang up.

  “Was there something else?”

  “Um, yeah. I’m not a real outdoorsy person, so I have no idea what to bring.”

  He sat on one of the newly finished chairs. “Pack a backpack with warm clothes. Think layers. Hiking boots or comfortable shoes. I’ll bring everything else.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Do you have any camping gear?”

  “No. But I could bring food.”

  “I have what we’ll need.” It was a small lie. He’d make this camping experience one she wouldn’t forget. She’d learn the fun of being an outdoorsy person.

  “See you Saturday then?”

  “Yeah. Unless you want to come over tonight?”

  “I have plans for tonight with my friend Sarah. Can you shoot me a text of where we’ll be staying in case Sarah needs to reach me?”

  “We’ll be at the campground at Starved Rock.”

  “Okay. Thanks. See you Saturday.”

  Connor hung up and stared at the can of stain on the table. What had he agreed to? Irritation dug at him. This would probably his last weekend of camping until spring and now, not only was he cutting it short, he was going to be with a woman who didn’t know how to camp.

  He pushed the irritation aside. He’d invited her and if it ended up being a disaster, he’d go camping alone a different weekend. It’d just be colder than he liked. He needed to focus. Fiona volunteered to spend time with him, which meant things were falling into place. Maybe this weekend would put him in a position for his plan to work faster. No editor would wait forever on his book. He needed information, and the sooner he got what he needed, the sooner he could forget Fiona.

  As he stroked the rich dark stain over the naked wood, he couldn’t help but think of Fiona’s pale skin. He made a mental note to pack the small heater so he could enjoy getting her naked in the tent.

  So much for focus.

  He supposed missing out on a hike would be worth it if he spent the time inside Fiona.

  * * *

  Saturday afternoon, Connor drove his packed truck to Fiona’s place. They’d only met a little over a week ago and they were going camping together. He still couldn’t get over how strange it felt. He’d never invited a woman to go with him. Then again, he’d had sex with Fiona more times than he had almost anyone else since being a teen. Especially in one week’s time. A nasty bit of nagging guilt tugged at him.

  He’d gone into this expecting to use her, but although he’d been giving her what she wanted, something felt off. He’d convinced himself they were using each other. It was time for him to get what he’d been looking for.

  He called her phone when he was a block away.
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  “Hello?” She sounded a bit breathless, which didn’t bode well for him getting to the campground.

  “I’ll be at your place in a few minutes. Are you ready?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be out front waiting.” She disconnected.

  Hmm. He liked a woman who managed to be on time. Then he pulled up in front of her building and swallowed a curse. She stood wearing old, faded jeans, knee-high leather boots with a small heel, and a skimpy jacket, which didn’t appear to be lined.

  She waved at him and he put the truck in park. She climbed in, rubbed Max’s head, then flashed a brilliant smile at Connor.

  “Tell me you have a warmer coat.”

  “This is the warmest one I’ve got. But I packed a couple of sweatshirts.”

  “You’re going to freeze your ass off.”

  Her lips quirked up even farther on one side. “That’s okay. I can stand to lose a little back there.”

  “I’m serious. And your ass is just fine.” He watched the blush creep across her cheeks. “What do you wear all winter?”

  “I go from my house to the car to whatever indoor place I’m headed. I told you I’m not an outdoors person.”

  “Forget it. We’ll stop on the way and buy you a coat.”

  She inched closer to him on the bench seat. “Or you could keep warm.”

  “I plan to do that anyway. Trust me, you want a coat.”

  She shrugged and shifted back to the passenger seat and buckled up. He drove out of the city in silence and stopped at a sporting goods store. He cracked the windows open for Max and took Fiona shopping.

  He grabbed a parka and tossed it to her. “Try this.”

  She slid her arms into it and then glanced at the tag dangling from the sleeve. She inhaled sharply. “I didn’t bring much money. I have about sixty bucks and my driver’s license. I didn’t even grab a credit card because I was afraid I might lose it.”

  “I got you covered.” He zipped the coat up and saw that it fit perfectly. “Now let’s check out boots. You won’t make it through half a hike in those. And they look unlined, so your feet will freeze.” He turned toward the back of the store and she scurried to keep up.

  “I asked you what I should pack. These are boots.”

  He stopped in his tracks and she crashed into his back. He turned around. “Not for hiking. They’re barely suitable for walking.”

  Christ. What had he gotten himself into? There went any enjoyment of his weekend if he had to teach her everything.

  “You know, this was a bad idea. You go on without me.” She shrugged out of the coat. “I’ll call a cab to take me home.”

  He hadn’t meant to let her know how he felt, so he scrambled to fix it. “It’s fine. I asked you to come and I’m not rescinding the invitation. It’ll be fun. What size are your feet?”

  After getting Fiona the gear she needed, including finding a hat to fit over her hair, they headed back to the truck.

  “I’ll pay you back when we get home tomorrow. I don’t expect you to cover my expenses.”

  He looked at her in her puffy parka and smiled as he turned the key. “Consider it a gift. You’re all set for camping. Maybe you’ll like it so much you’ll want to go again.”

  She leaned across the seat and kissed him. Her lips connected with his, warm and inviting. When she pulled back, she whispered against his mouth, “Thanks for the present. I have one for you too.”

  “Yeah? Where?” His voice was a little strangled and his jeans tightened uncomfortably.

  “You’ll have to unwrap me to find out.” She brushed her lips against his again and then flopped back against the passenger door.

  He lowered his window more to allow the cool air in. If she kept him this hot, he wouldn’t need the heater he’d packed for her comfort.

  * * *

  Fiona sat on a rock near what Connor said was a campsite. Max lay at her feet and she petted him while watching Connor assemble a tent. It didn’t look all that big. In fact, she didn’t see how she would fit. His broad shoulders filled the doorway flap thingy and she suspected if he laid in it, his feet would stick out. She never should’ve accepted his invitation. She didn’t belong here.

  Worse, he regretted asking her. He wouldn’t admit it, but she saw the look in his eyes when she’d admitted to never having camped. She sighed and stood up. “Is there anything I can do?”

  He looked over his shoulder at her. “You can gather some firewood. Dry stuff. Nothing that looks like it just fell.”

  Finally, something to make her feel useful. “I’ll take Max. We’ll be back soon.”

  She wrapped Max’s leash around her wrist so he wouldn’t wander off, not that it looked like he wanted to. She picked up some branches and a couple of logs she thought would make a good campfire. It was wood. She couldn’t screw it up, right?

  As she walked into the woods, she breathed deeply. The fresh, crisp air filled her lungs. The day still felt warm and after a few minutes of picking through the trees, she wanted to take her coat off. She didn’t see why she needed such a heavy jacket. She would’ve been comfortable in the one she’d been wearing.

  Max sniffed around and barked at a squirrel. She hoped he wouldn’t need to relieve himself because she hadn’t brought a bag to clean up. When her arms were full, she tugged Max back in the direction of the camp. She had a moment of panic she might’ve taken a wrong turn, but Max guided her. He knew exactly where to find Connor.

  The tent was fully assembled and Connor sat on the rock she previously occupied. She dumped the wood on the ground at his feet. “Is this enough?”

  “For now.” He shifted on the rock. “I’m going to go on a hike with Max.”

  A statement not an invitation. She didn’t know how to respond.

  “Do you want to come?” He looked as unsure as she felt.

  “Not if you want to be alone. I can hang out here.” And do what, she didn’t know.

  “Come on. I’ll keep the hike short.”

  His invitation warmed her in ways it shouldn’t. She didn’t know what she was doing with him. He had somehow twisted her into a relationship of some kind. Guilt plowed into her chest. Holding back so much of herself wasn’t fair to Connor even though he let her.

  He whistled and Max stood and trotted over. Connor loosely grabbed the leash and started walking.

  Romantic walk in the woods this wasn’t. He didn’t speak, so neither did she. At first, silence engulfed her uncomfortably, but then she began to hear the sounds of nature: birds chirping, squirrels chattering, chipmunks scurrying beneath dry leaves.

  She watched Connor walk. He paid no attention to her, so she turned her focus to her surroundings. She’d never been to the park before, but she could immediately see the appeal. Many trees had already started to lose their foliage, but enough remained that the kaleidoscope of colors made her itch for a paintbrush. She rarely painted for pleasure anymore. She used her creative energy for her jewelry. But every now and again, something she saw begged to be painted.

  She pulled her phone from her pocket and snapped a couple of pictures. She’d use them as inspiration. If not for an actual painting, for a fall line of jewelry. As they walked deeper down the trail, the wind shifted and the trees swallowed the warm sunlight.

  Fiona shivered and burrowed her hands into the pockets of her lined coat. So Connor had been right. Maybe she did need a warmer coat for being out here. She hadn’t paid attention to how long or how far they’d walked. She trusted Connor would get them back to the camp before it got dark. Her nose started to numb and just as she was about to say something, they turned a bend and she stared at the campsite.

  Connor still hadn’t spoken to her. She didn’t know if she’d make it the weekend without him talking. She understood he was a quiet guy, but this edged toward the ridiculous.

  He picked up a few pieces of wood and began creating a tower in the fire pit.

  “Can you point the way to the bathroom?”

  He drop
ped the stick in his hand. “I’ll walk you.”

  A sharp whistle and Max walked beside him.

  She hurried to catch up. “I can handle going to the bathroom.”

  He didn’t respond. She paid close attention to the path they took. There was no one in sight. Maybe there was a reason he didn’t want her to walk alone. “Is the park not safe?”

  He looked at her over his shoulder. “You’re safe.”

  The two words simply stated fact, but he didn’t answer her question. Obviously she was safe with him. A person would have to be crazy to mess with him. She knew if she prodded, she probably wouldn’t get anything further so she dropped it. A moment later, she arrived at the bathroom.

  When she emerged, Connor and Max were waiting and they walked back in silence.

  Connor immediately went back to building a fire. She took the spot on the rock and watched him work, fascinated by the deft movements of his hands. He pulled a box of matches from his pocket and lit the wood.

  “Isn’t that cheating? Aren’t you supposed to strike a rock or rub sticks together or something?”

  He prodded a branch and added a couple more twigs. “Rest assured if I was stranded without matches, I’d get a fire going. I don’t see the reason for making extra work for myself.” When the fire blazed, he stood and surveyed the area.

  Her gaze followed his. “Not a lot of people around.”

  “Most people are done camping for the season. You’ll find a few diehards out there. I like a site that offers me some privacy. It allows me to break the rules and let Max off his leash.”

  “He has to stay on a leash all weekend?” The flames licked and warmed her face.

  “Those are the rules. But this late in the season, no one hassles me.”

  Max sat comfortably at her side. Petting his head, she questioned again why she came. She could’ve found somewhere else to hide out after that stupid political blogger published the photo of her and Patrick. She kept seeing the headline: Fiona Cavanagh and Patrick Neale – Will Her Romance Ruin Dad’s Campaign?