Hold Me Close Read online

  “Tomorrow?” She looked at Olivia, who nodded wildly. She was working the afternoon shift at the bar, so her evening was free. “Sure.”

  “Can I pick you up?”

  She was so out of the dating loop that she wasn’t sure how to answer.

  “Or we can meet. Whatever you prefer.”

  Maggie’s mind moved a mile a minute. If he picked her up, he would know where she lived. If they met there, it could be awkward having two vehicles. Although it would prevent her from sleeping with him on the first date. She laughed at herself. As if that were a possibility.

  Olivia snapped her fingers in front of Maggie’s face.

  Maggie held up a finger. “You know. I’m working tomorrow. Why don’t you pick me up there?”

  She gave him the name and address and disconnected. Placing her phone back on the table, it hit her. She just made a date. Although Ian had been her boyfriend in Ireland, this somehow felt different. Ian had started out as a blind date her cousin had set up, so Maggie didn’t have the whole first-meeting-will-it-end-in-a-date thing going on. She did now. A date with a total stranger. And she wasn’t nervous.

  “Hello,” Olivia said. “What happened?”

  “We’re going out for dinner tomorrow. He’s picking me up here.”

  “Is that a good idea?”

  “Even if it’s not, it’s too late now. Besides, where else am I safer?” There was a time that sentence would never have left her mouth, but now she knew it to be true. “There are big, burly guys working here. My family is always around. Then there’s Shane. I can’t imagine a guy would want to bug me if it didn’t work out.”

  But Todd had. He kept coming to the bar after she’d broken up with him. It had given him a chance to watch her. A sinking feeling settled in her. Maybe this was a bad idea.

  Olivia reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “It’s okay, Mags. Most guys are not Todd.”

  “I know.” She’d been telling herself that for a long time.

  Maggie skated through the bar, trying to go unnoticed. She’d worked the lunch shift and then left earlier to meet with Tara again. She didn’t want anyone to ask her to work extra hours tonight because she had her date with Eli. She headed for the kitchen to grab something to eat so she wouldn’t look like a pig on her date.

  As she snuck behind the bar, Mary called her.

  Damn. She looked over her shoulder. “Sorry. I can’t work tonight.”

  “No. We’re good.” She held up an envelope. “This came addressed to the bar with your name on it.”

  “Weird.” Maggie grabbed the letter. Bile rose in her throat when she saw the return address. Todd’s parents’ house. Her hand shook.

  “Are you okay?”

  No. No, she was not fucking okay. “Is—Is Ryan here?”

  “In the office.”

  Maggie stumbled away from the kitchen. Her body felt thick and fuzzy, no longer like hers. She opened the office door without knocking.

  Ryan looked up. Her throat closed. She wasn’t even sure she was breathing. But she must’ve been, because she was still thinking. Ryan said something into the phone and hung up.

  Then he was in front of her, holding her shoulders, calling her name.

  She pressed the envelope to his chest. Then tears started to fall. Tremors rattled through her whole body. Ryan gently pushed her onto the couch.

  She leaned over and focused on breathing. Clearing her mind, deep inhale, but the air meagerly inched its way into her lungs.

  The couch dipped beside her with Ryan’s weight. She closed her eyes against the tears. Ryan rubbed her back. An image of Shane appeared. She would’ve given almost anything for him to have been there to comfort her.

  “How?” The single syllable squeaked past her restricted airway.

  “I told you he was getting out.”

  She rocked a little and pressed her forehead to her knees. Todd didn’t matter. He no longer had a hold on her life. She was better. With a burst of energy, she stood. She swiped at her cheeks and looked down at Ryan.

  “It’s a letter of apology. He’s been in therapy and wants to take responsibility for his actions.”

  “Fuck him.”

  “Do you want to read it?”

  “Burn it.” She stopped, remembering how important a trail of evidence could be. “No. Keep it so I can get a restraining order.”

  Oxygen flooded her system. This was her life and she wouldn’t let Todd take any more from her. Again, she thought of Shane. Although he would’ve offered her comfort, he’d also seek revenge, like he had before. “Don’t tell anyone about this. Especially Shane.”

  “I’m going to talk to Jimmy to see what we can do. This is the only one, right?”

  She nodded.

  “You okay?”

  She swallowed hard. Her body was still shaky, but she was all right. “Yeah, I am.”

  He stood. “Maybe you should go home to Mom’s.”

  “No. I live here. I’m going to my apartment. I won’t let him drive me from it again. He doesn’t get to do that.”

  “Want me to walk you up?”

  “No. I’m good. Really.” She wrapped her arms around her big brother.

  She left through the back door and stomped up the steps. As she put her key in her lock, Shane called to her.

  Maggie turned, widening her eyes with hope that he couldn’t tell she’d been crying.

  He took a step, suddenly looking nothing like the confident man she knew him to be. Just as he opened his mouth, the exterior doorbell rang and he turned to look through the door to see who it was.

  Maggie took his momentary distraction as a sign for her escape. She slipped into her apartment and prayed Shane wouldn’t follow. She couldn’t face him right now. If he asked what was wrong, she’d tell him.

  Once behind her locked door, she dropped her keys and bag on her counter. Why did it feel that for every step she made forward, something had to knock her back?

  She crawled into bed to reboot her system. The pillow she held against her chest still smelled like Shane. She clutched it and breathed in his scent. She didn’t know how long she lay there, but after a while, she remembered her dinner date with Eli.

  Mostly, she wanted to cancel. She wouldn’t be great company. But then she pushed out of bed. Not going on her date would be giving Todd space in her life.

  Not happening.

  She rushed through a shower and dressed quickly. Just as she applied makeup, Eli texted that he was parking. She raced out the door but slowed in front of Shane’s so he wouldn’t come looking for her again. He always knew the sound of her feet.

  When she got back to the bar, she scanned the area for Eli. He stood near the front door watching the crowd. She strode over. “Hey.”

  He smiled. “Good to see you again. Are you ready?”

  “Yep.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “We can stay here if you don’t mind.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure.” Being on her home turf might make things easier.

  “Your call.”

  She pointed over her shoulder. “We can get a table near the back.”

  He followed her through at a distance. Far enough that at one point she turned to make sure she hadn’t lost him. They settled at a table and Maggie waved Kelly over to take their orders. Eli asked for a beer, but Maggie stuck with water. They decided to share an appetizer platter as their meal.

  Eli told her about his job, manager of a sporting goods store. He shared funny stories about customers. While she smiled, nothing made her laugh, and she needed a good laugh.

  He was the kind of guy who got into telling a story: voices, gestures, everything. It was almost like he was performing. And he was good at it.

  When he talked, though, she didn’t feel like he was speaking to her. More like at her. He barely made eye contact.

  Unlike Shane, who gave her his total attention whenever they were together.


  She mentally slapped herself. Eli was not Shane. It was an unfair comparison. Shane had known her for a decade. First date nerves never came into play.

  When dinner was finished, their conversation faded.

  “I’ve had a good time tonight, Maggie.”

  “Thanks. So have I.” She wasn’t lying, but something kept her enthusiasm in check.

  He stood and tossed money on the table, enough for the bill and a tip. “I’d like to see you again.”

  “I’d like that too.” At least she told herself that. “But I’m going to be busy working here all weekend because of Saint Patrick’s Day.” She stood.

  “Okay. I’ll give you a call.” He leaned in and Maggie expected him to try to kiss her, but he offered an awkward hug with a pat on the back like she was a dude.

  “Can I walk you to your car?” he asked.

  “No, thank you. I’m going to talk with my friend for a few minutes before heading out.” She wasn’t ready for him to know she lived there.

  She waited until he cleared the front door and she went out the back. As a first date, it might not have been perfect, but at least it wasn’t a disaster.

  CHAPTER 14

  Shane had busted his ass for the last few days to make his apartment presentable. He had no idea what to expect from a home visit from a detective, but he did know that if he passed this phase, he would probably get hired. This was it. His dream of becoming a cop was finally happening. He hoped.

  He hadn’t seen Maggie since Monday. He wasn’t sure what to think of that. They’d talked a couple of times and she told him briefly about this new job thing she had going on, but they never got around to discussing their relationship It wasn’t a conversation they could have over the phone.

  She hadn’t mentioned anything, so it was like she’d simply forgotten they’d fought. And slept together. Yet he couldn’t get her out of his head. He’d gone to her apartment twice. More futile attempts to reach her.

  Cara’s words had haunted him all week. He’d finally decided to talk to Maggie, convince her they should give it a shot, and he couldn’t track her down. He sent her a text telling her to let him know when she got home. She hadn’t responded.

  With his apartment clean, Shane paced, feeling restless because he had nothing to occupy him. He felt itchy in his own skin. Nervousness over this visit made him miserable. If Maggie were here, she’d talk him down. She’d tell him he was being ridiculous. The visit was a formality. He would make a good cop.

  When he heard footsteps in the hall, he raced for the door, sure it was Maggie. No way was he letting her escape again. He swung his door open as she turned her key in the lock.

  “Maggie.”

  She turned, full-on deer in headlights. Fuck. This was not how they were.

  Just then, his doorbell sounded and he turned to see who was standing outside. In that brief moment, Maggie slipped into her apartment. From where he stood, Shane saw a guy in a suit waiting.

  Shane was torn. He needed this interview, but he needed to talk to Maggie.

  Damn. He strode to the door and opened it. The cold breeze wafted in.

  “Mr. Callahan?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m Detective Carroll. Here for your home visit.”

  The man didn’t look happy. Shane opened the door wider and led the way to his apartment.

  In his living room, Shane tried not to fidget. Detective Carroll scanned the apartment and said, “I’m going to look around.”

  “Okay.”

  Shane leaned by the kitchen counter, then moved back to his living room, wishing he’d bought furniture. Without the building materials he’d had here for weeks, the apartment was too empty. Every sound echoed.

  He could hear drawers opening and closing. The door to his closet clicking. The inspection shouldn’t take long, since he owned so little.

  Detective Carroll came back to the living room. “Why no furniture?”

  “I moved in not long ago. I haven’t gotten around to getting some.”

  “Look, Callahan, I’m not going to lie to you. We have a problem here.”

  Shane’s heart sank to his feet. He’d done everything right. What could be the problem?

  “You live above a bar. I have to wonder why. Are you a drunk?”

  “No.”

  “Why then?”

  Shane thought of answers, wanted to be honest, but even in his own head, knowing his history with Maggie, they all sounded creepy.

  “My friend’s family owns the bar. She lives next door. This apartment was gutted and needed work done. They offered free rent to do the work. I was helping them out.”

  Carroll shook his head. “It doesn’t look good. It’s against department regulations.”

  Shane deflated. No imaginary pep talk would fix this.

  “You did well on the tests. You’re in the final stages. I don’t see anything here that would cause a red flag, except for the location. If what you say holds true after I talk to your neighbors, I’ll recommend you move to the next step.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But”—Carroll pointed at him—“before you can be hired, you have to move, which means it needs to happen fast.” He moved toward the door. “We’ll be in touch.”

  Shane stared at the door after Carroll left. His sole purpose for living here was Maggie. He’d have to leave her. Maggie. He dashed out the door and knocked on hers. No answer. He tried the knob. Locked, of course. She was definitely dodging him.

  Maggie ran around like a crazed woman. She had no idea how her life had become so full. She was juggling her new jobs because she wanted them so badly, but she still needed her job at the bar because it paid the bills. Then there was Eli.

  In the days since their date, they’d talked and texted and she’d enjoyed their conversations. He was a fun guy with a great personality. She attributed the awkwardness at dinner to first date jitters. Plus, it wasn’t like she was totally herself that night.

  However, even she knew she couldn’t assess her compatibility with a guy without kissing him. With the holiday hitting this weekend, she probably wouldn’t see him for a couple days. How long did she want to wait to see him again?

  She weighed whether it was a good idea to invite him to stop by the bar. Although she hadn’t worked Saint Paddy’s Day in years, she remembered how busy the bar was. She wouldn’t have much time for socializing, but maybe she could take her dinner break with him. After bounding up the stairs to change for work, she almost skidded to a halt as she saw a guy standing in the hall talking to her neighbor. What did Shane say her name was? Janet?

  Maggie knew she should be better at the neighbor thing, but their paths hadn’t crossed. Just the one time the woman had asked Maggie about adjusting the radiators. She didn’t know what the guy said, but Janet answered, “Oh, no. He’s a great guy. He came over and fiddled with my heat for me.”

  Maggie let herself into her apartment, and before she locked the door, someone knocked. Assuming it was Shane, who she’d been avoiding, she swung the door open. It was the guy who had been talking to Janet. “Hi,” she said cautiously.

  “Hi. I’m Detective Carroll with the Chicago Police Department.”

  “Okay.”

  “I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your neighbor, Shane Callahan.”

  Shoot. This was about Shane. Did he do something wrong? Oh, God. What if Ryan told him about the letter from Todd?

  Her questions must’ve shown on her face, because the detective followed with, “He’s an applicant for the department, and it’s standard procedure to do a home visit.”

  “Oh.” She calmed her racing heart. “What do you want to know?”

  “How well do you know Mr. Callahan?”

  “Very. We’ve been friends since high school.” She leaned against the doorframe and wondered if she was supposed to invite him in. Would it be better for Shane if she did?

  “So you’re Maggie O’Leary whose family owns th
e bar.”

  “I am.”

  “Mr. Callahan said he moved in to help your family out by doing work on the apartment.”

  “I guess so. I didn’t ask. My brother handles all of that.”

  The man nodded and made a note in a notebook. “Does he spend a lot of time at the bar?”

  “Define a lot.”

  One eyebrow rose.

  “If you’re asking me if he’s a permanent fixture, no. Does he go there more often than someone who doesn’t live upstairs? Yes. The food’s good and Shane isn’t much of a cook.” She felt like she was stepping in a puddle of goo and not helping Shane, which was the last thing she wanted.

  He nodded again. “Anything else you’d like to add?”

  She straightened from her spot. “Shane is a good man. He’d make a great cop.”

  “Thank you for your time.” He turned and pointed across the hall. “Do you know when your neighbor might be home?”

  “Alex? I’ve only seen him once in the weeks I’ve been living here. He works nights and goes to school during the day, so he’s hard to catch.”

  “Thank you again for your time.”

  Maggie locked up behind her and scrambled to change quickly. When she was ready for her shift at the bar, she peeked outside her door to make sure the coast was clear and then knocked on Shane’s door. He didn’t answer, so she knocked again.

  When he opened the door, he was standing in a towel and nothing else, but drops of water cascading over his skin. She swallowed hard. She’d seen Shane like this probably hundreds of times. But holy crap he looked good. She imagined his broad, bare shoulders between her thighs as he went down on her. Her throat went dry. She shouldn’t be thinking about him like that. Eli. Think of Eli.

  Shane busted through her thoughts. “What’s up? I’m trying to get ready.”

  “You’re working tonight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “There was a cop here a little while ago asking questions about you.”

  “I figured.”

  “You knew?”

  “Yeah. I had my home visit. He said he’d be back to talk to my neighbors.”

  Her arms flew up. “Why didn’t you tell me? Prepare me so I would know what to say? What if I screwed things up for you?”